Dhammapada Handbook

Chapter 8: Contentment and Difficult Situations

This is from the Dhammapada chapter titled "Happiness." But it is just as much about obstacles to avoid along the way.

Müller version

197. Let us live happily then, not hating those who hate us! among men who hate us let us dwell free from hatred!

198. Let us live happily then, free from ailments among the ailing! among men who are ailing let us dwell free from ailments!

199. Let us live happily then, free from greed among the greedy! among men who are greedy let us dwell free from greed!

My 'paraphrased' version

Throughout our days, we resolve to live a contented and peaceful existence. We will not return in kind to those who treat us unpleasantly. Among the discontented, we shall reside, free of what distresses them.

Throughout our days, we resolve to live a contented and peaceful existence. We will not return in kind to those who see us unfavorably. Among the distressed, we shall reside, free of what troubles them.

Throughout our days, we resolve to live a contented and peaceful existence. We will not return in kind to those who believe us to be a threat. Among the afflicted, we shall reside, free of what affects them.

Commentary

These verses illustrate about living in the world but not always identifying with it. If we encounter a situation or person, are we swept away by their powerful dramas or can we keep our mental distance apart from them? In a world of contradictory and spiraling expectations, can we maintain our balance?

In the Buddha's day, it is said that he encountered his own monks (!) fighting over a minor matter. (Keeping a dipper free of drops of water as not to attract mosquitos.) The monk committing the offense insisted that nothing was done wrong. The other monks wanted to correct his behavior. Both sides thought that they alone were right. Seeking to bring peace and to end the matter, the Buddha met with all parties. He then talked about six qualities to bring about harmonious communities and less arguments. The monks liked what they heard and the situation was settled. See for more details.

But there is another version that is far more interesting. . No matter what the Buddha says, the two sides stay deep in conflict. One monk even says something like the following to the Buddha, "Those were pretty words. But they are not helping us any. Let us resolve this situation ourselves as we will do at the right time. Please be quiet and find somewhere nice to meditate."

Many of us might be fuming at this point. But not the Buddha. He realized that even he could not calm these well-set minds. Coming from the eyes of compassion, he still tried to impart some wisdom before leaving.

And so, he departed, perhaps reluctantly. Afterwards, he sought out monks that practiced well his teaching through their lives. And rather than forgetting the whole thing and moving on, he brought the direct experience into his meditation and reflected on it for some time without judgment. Because part of it was likely still on his mind. So, he heeded the call for self-review. In time, he realized that those monks were seeing things through the eyes of ignorance and were held captive by their minds and emotions. Because of their own self-blindness, there will always be others that will treat us unkindly. Shortly afterwards, the same argumentative monks came by asking for forgiveness. Both parties admitted their own mistakes escalating the conflict and promised better follow the monastic rules. Harmony was restored.
The second version shows us that the 'stuff' that we encounter in our daily life is not something to easily forget. It needs to be reflected on and worked through in a mindful way. Through this practice, the idea of having a 'right' viewpoint slowly evaporates and eventually disappears.

Think about the above situation. Would you return the harshness encountered with like actions and words? Is winning and being right more important to you than inner calm? Would you reflect on something you just encountered that bothered you or forget soon about it? Perhaps thinking that there was no need since it may never happen again. And doing nearly the same thing in a similar situation.

Story: The Practice Being

One Path

Darn new neighbors. So many of them. Acting so warm, overly friendly and way too happy. I do not trust them. Not at all. Nope. Clearly something very wrong and certainly suspicious about them. I think they must be mouth breathers or belong to one of those groups that I just cannot stand and outright oppose. Why did they have to come into my life and move so close? I am really worried now with this new threat. I must do what I can to make unfriendly for them and get them to move way. And darn soon.

One Path

So, the six of us just moved in here. Nice place. Parks, shopping, and good schools nearby. And great neighbors. Well one appears to be a little angry and unhappy. But that is what an unsettled mind will do the you. But it is great that I have a new practice being to incorporate into my life practice. May they be happy and their suffering ebb away. I always accept and not run away from the many lessons that life gives me. And I shall be immersed in this one as well. Well gotta a lot still to unpack. May peace soon find you and all beings. Especially one very unhappy neighbor!

Practice

1. Treat everything encountered as a teaching and everyone as a teacher.

2. Do not go blindly from situation to situation without learning the key lessons. Reflect and make the needed adjustments at your own speed.

3. It is in a challenging situation that we need our greatest mindfulness, not afterwards. Observe your circumstances with non-reactivity. Then act in a manner beneficial and not harmful to all parties involved.