Dead Sirius (Black Butler)

Chapter Seventeen

~Sirius' POV~

Redmond claimed to know someone they could contact to cover up their mistake and afterward swore they would never speak of Derrick Arden ever again. Fearful of the disgusted looks I'd receive from Herman and his friends; I fled from the room and allowed myself to fade away hoping I could find peace and solitude somewhere. I was tainted, impure, and entirely filth ridden.

"Sirius, what's wrong?" My father's soothing voice called out to me in the darkness.

It took my eyes a moment to adjust to the din of the room and another moment for me to realize I was back home. My father was sitting next to a gurney working on preserving the corpse before him. His acidic green eyes were filled with worry.

"You're bleeding." He said softly moving slowly as if he were afraid sudden movements would spook me.

I didn't dare to think what sort of state I appeared to be in. "I murdered someone." My voice was raspy, my throat dry and as the words left my mouth a chilling thought crossed my mind. I'd murdered several people, and I didn't feel the slightest bit of regret about taking their lives.

My father set his scalpel down next to his patient and folded his hands in his lap, giving me his undivided attention. "What happened?"

What happened? That was it?! A measly 'what happened?' "I KILLED PEOPLE!" I shouted.

"So, you mentioned." Father chuckled.

"This isn't a laughing matter!" My hands were shaking; every part of me was trembling uncontrollably. "I killed people and I didn't feel the least bit of remorse. I didn't hesitate... I... I might have actually enjoyed it." My voice shook at the realization. I murdered several people and the only thing I was concerned with was how Herman would think of me. The fact that not one but six people were dead didn't faze me in the slightest, if anything I was pleased.

"What happened?" He repeated calmly.

"WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!" I screamed wanting to rip my hair out. "Why aren't you panicked? Why aren't you yelling at me or taking me to the authorities?!"

"Sirius, calm down." My father said softly, "You're injured, let me take a look."

"To hell with my bloody injury! Why don't you understand?! I killed people! People are dead! They can't go back to their families; they can't laugh, feel or even love now. I took that away from them!" My hands were shaking and I slowly began backing away from my father. Why was he so calm?

"Sirius, stay calm and tell me exactly what happened. Don't lose yourself." My father gracefully got to his feet and stalked toward me calmly.

"Calm?! How can I be calm?!" I gripped my head in my hands as a throbbing pain started in my temples.

"Sirius, calm yours-."

"STOP TELLING ME TO BE CALM!" I shrieked and gripped my head tighter as the pain turned from throbbing to pulsating but I couldn't get a good grip. My hands were slick with blood, my blood, Derrick's blood. A wave of nausea washed over me. It wasn't the first time. I'd killed for Ciel, but for some reason killing for him didn't affect me this way. Killing his aunt barely fazed me; it was for his safety, it was necessary.

I was fast becoming a murderess. But what frightened me most of all, was that I was actually slightly pleased with the lives I'd taken.

"Daddy." My voice cracked as I suddenly crumpled into myself and fell to the floor.

"Everything's going to be alright, Sirius." My father knelt beside me and held his arms open hesitant to wrap me in an embrace for fear I'd break entirely.

"Daddy!" I cried as I dove into his arms, "Help me."

"Sh." His comforting voice cooed softly as he rubbed my back in a consoling manner. "It's alright, child."

"What do I do?" I choked as memories of the lives I'd taken flashed through my mind. My fingers itched to feel the cool metal of a scalpel in my hand and horror gripped me as I realized I wanted to kill again.

"Embrace it." Father snickered maniacally and pressed a bloody scalpel into my hands. He lightly turned me to face his work station and a scream caught in my throat as I spotted the P4 hanging from the ceiling with their arms bound above them, disemboweled and bleeding out.

I woke with a scream and jolted upright in my bed. My heart was pounding in my chest and I found it nearly impossible to catch my breath. When had I fallen asleep? Where was I?

"Sh! It's alright, Sirius my love." Esme's voice purred at my bedside.

"What happened?!" I panicked as I spilled from the bed in haste. My equilibrium was unsteady and I found myself wobbly unbalanced and feeling a little hazy. My legs turned to jelly beneath me and I felt myself slip toward the floor.

Strong arms encircled me and I found my back tightly pressed against a thin yet slightly muscular torso. "You shouldn't move around just yet." Emilie's mysterious voice breathed in my ear.

"I don't remember how I got here." I blurted in a panic. Madness was slowly beginning to devour me. What else could I have possibly done last night?

Esme appeared before me with a bright smile. "Don't fret my love. You came back in the middle of the night crying and bleeding. I managed to conceal you from the other girls and dress your wounds. You fell asleep in my arms sobbing like a frightened child. It was the cutest thing." She swooned.

"Where is everyone?" I asked upon noticing the eerily abandoned dorm room.

"Classes, I guess." She shrugged.

The deaths of Derrick and the others hadn't been announced to the school? I wanted to ask but couldn't reveal that kind of information to them. Not that I think they'd ever turn me in, hell they'd probably congratulate me. Emile had once been a victim of Derrick's bullying. However, it never became a repeat offense. There was just something eerie and otherworldly about the tall lanky boy that tended to spook everyone.

Emile eased me onto the edge of the bed and knelt before me. He captured one of my trembling hands in his and brought it to his lips. "You've got blood on your hands, Sirius." He breathed in a haunting voice before kissing my hand softly.

Esme giggled softly. "Emile, you're scaring her."

He turned his rose-colored eyes upward to gaze upon my face as my stomach took a sickening turn. Dread weighed heavily on my heart. They knew! This was not at all how I expected them to react.

"You have nothing to fear." Emile tenderly caressed my cheek.

"We shall follow you into ruin." Esme added dramatically as she knelt next to her brother and captured my other hand.

A shiver ran down my spine as she mirrored her twin's actions and kissed my hand before tenderly caressing my opposite cheek. My heart was beating too fast, it hurt. The room around me lurched and a soft gasp escaped me as I felt myself slipping into the welcoming darkness unable to cope with everything going on around me.

My body fell forward and a chill swept over me as Esme and Emile caught me simultaneously and cradled me between them.

"You have nothing to fear." They said simultaneously, "We'll follow you into ruin." Their voices were haunting and immediately struck me with terror.