Brew Books

Chapter 37

I am flooded with guilt from today - of running out of Harper's room, of seeing Drew when I should have been at the march, of my desperate shopping splurge, of pretending to be sick. I'm ashamed at my actions, and I can't face anyone.

Instead, I open iBooks on my phone and find War and Peace on the store. I download it, and open the first chapter. I imagine reading it and discussing it with Harper.

Maybe we can have an in-depth analysis of the text over coffee, and then drinks, and then I can fall into his bed again. And maybe next time something will happen. A second chance.

But the novel fails to capture me, because of the mood I'm in. I keep checking Instagram, then Snapchat, then Facebook, as if something I see on social media will relieve me from this miserable, panicked mood. I'm too restless and my brain is too scattered to read.

I'm terrified of leaving my room and facing the others. Not that they know anything is wrong - as far as they're aware, I'm sick. But I've worked myself into a horrible, stewing feeling, and as much as I tell myself that no one will know what I've done wrong, I just imagine that everyone will think differently of me now.

When someone knocks on my door, I expect it to be Kitty, but I'm surprised to see Sylvie.

'I'm just about to start work,' she says. 'But I made a huge stir fry and there is plenty left over, so I thought I'd bring you a bowl. Are you up for eating?'

She's changed into her typical bar outfit - a tight crop top and skirt combo to show off her ass. She has wrapped her braids into a bun at the top of her head, with a red bandana wrapped around it. She brings the bowl of stir fry in and sits on the edge of my bed.

'That's so nice,' I say. 'Your hair looks cool.'

Sylvie smiles. 'Thanks, babes. How are you feeling?'

'I had some cold and flu medication and I feel a bit better,' I tell her. 'Thanks for cooking, this is so nice.'

Sylvie shrugs. 'Literally all I did was throw vegetables in a pan and fry them, don't thank me too much, considering you spend every second day baking for us.'

I smile. 'I love baking.'

'I can see that,' Sylvie says. 'Okay, I better go start work. I hope you feel better. But Kitty said she can cover your shift in the bookstore tomorrow, so whatever you do, don't worry about work.'

I feel sick in my stomach thinking that Kitty is happy to cover for me even though she knows I'm not sick, and I determine to put on a brave face tomorrow and work.

Sylvie leaves me to eat the stir fry, and it's delicious. When I'm finished I finally emerge from my room, to the empty flat. I clean up, and then I head back to my bedroom. I grab Matt's laptop from my bag and go to Ed's bedroom to put it back. I really hope he hasn't noticed it's gone.

When I open the door to Ed's bedroom, it takes me a long moment to realise that it's not empty. Ed is sitting at his desk, headphones in, typing away on his own laptop. He's wearing a bright red jumper and black sweatpants. He must have been hiding in here for hours, because I hadn't heard movement from his room for ages and assumed he was down at the bar.

I freeze, but it's too late. He's seen me. And he's seen that I'm holding his brother's laptop.

Ed pulls off his headphones, and runs a hand through his red hair, to mess it up again where it was flattened under the headphones.

'That's Matt's laptop,' Ed says flatly.

'Uh, yeah,' I say. 'I know.'

'What are you doing with Matt's laptop?' Suddenly his voice is charged.

'Uh, it was a stupid mistake,' I panic. 'I grabbed it by accident.'

'How? By accident?' Ed snaps. 'It was in my room. I was looking for it. Why do you have it?' He paces across the room and snatches it out of my hands.

'Why do you have it?' I retaliate.

Ed's expression turns from surprise to pure fury.

'That's it,' Ed says. 'I don't care what Kitty says. You can't steal something and expect to be allowed to live here, and work here.'

My stomach plummets as I realise what Ed is saying.

'Wait, no, Ed, please,' I say. 'This was a stupid mistake. I would never steal anything, I was just borrowing the laptop. I would seriously never steal anything! I'm not that type of person.'

'I have no idea what type of person you are,' Ed growls. 'But going into my room? Taking my brother's things? That's not the type of person I want living in this flat.'

Tears spring into my eyes. 'Ed, I have nowhere else to go.'

'You can sleep here tonight and go back to Brighton in the morning,' he says. 'That's it, Jane. End of discussion.'

'Ed,' I plead.

'Get out of my room.'

'Ed, I can't leave,' I say. I think of Harper. Of Kitty. Of Will. Even Sylvie and Charlotte. I can't leave these people. Not for this one stupid mistake.

'I'll do overtime for no pay,' I plead, tears now streaming down my cheeks. 'I'll bake something every single day. I'll take on all of your cleaning duties on the roster. I'll do anything, Ed.'

Ed seems to soften at my desperation. 'You can't think I'm being unreasonable, Jane.'

'I don't think you're being unreasonable,' I say. 'I know it looks bad, and I'm really sorry. But I promise, it was a stupid mistake, and it will never happen again. This place means everything to me, Ed. I have nowhere to go.'

Ed crosses his arms. 'I'm going to talk to Kitty about this, okay? Until then, I'd appreciate if you didn't mention this to anyone.'

Hope flickers inside me. 'Please, yeah, talk to Kitty. She'll tell you, this was just a stupid mistake. I've just had a bad day. I don't know how to explain it. I promise I'm better than this.'

Ed sighs. 'Let me talk to Kitty. Can you get out of my room now?'

I jump out of his room, trying to wipe the tears out of my eyes as I do. 'Yeah, I'm sorry, Ed, again, please, I'm so sorry.'

'Good night, Jane,' Ed says sharply.

• Author's Note •

Thank you for reading! We're really getting to the point in this novel where things are gonna start picking up and getting very dramatic. I hope you're strapped in!

We're also about to start dealing with some more adult issues in this novel. I know Wattpad has a lot of younger readers but I'm actually really curious to know how old the readers of this book are. So, if you don't mind revealing, your age, my question of the chapter is...

How old are you?

Thanks for voting, commenting, and supporting this novel. It means a lot to me.

elle xx