Purple Heart | Demi Lovato

16

Demi

Wilmer surprised me by actually giving me my space. For the next two hours we stayed on opposite sides of the house, doing idle work to keep ourselves busy from thinking about what had just happened.

Around one o'clock, Wilmer ventured to my side in running sneakers and shorts, Zeus was on a leash in his hand.

"I'm gonna go for a run."

"Okay." I didn't look up from the book.

He stood there for a few moments, then whistled to Zeus and walked out the door. The moment the door shut I felt a weight lift off of my shoulders. I laid back on the couch and took a couple slow, deep breaths. I hated what we had become. Wilmer used to be the person I could talk to anything about, and now it's like I can't find the words to say to him. I can't tell him what to do to make it okay again, because I don't know how it can ever be okay.

Wilmer came home around three o'clock, sweat soaking the front of his shirt. He barely looked at me as he walked in, heading straight for our bedroom. I bit my lip, hesitating for a moment- I could've sworn I saw tears on his face. Zeus came trotting up- panting and slobbering after he had gulped down some water, and hopped up on the couch, curling into a ball next to me. I absentmindedly pet him and thought about Wilmer's usual running route. He rarely went more than an hour or two, and it had been three.

I walked upstairs slowly, and peered into our bedroom. Wilmer was standing in the closet, his hands on his dresser and bent over at the waist. I could see tears dripping down his cheeks as he took slow deep breaths. A part of me ached to comfort him- Wilmer cried so rarely, but another part of me replayed his words to me like a recording.

"I wanted us to have a relationship that's more than sex."

"Yeah you're great in bed Demi! Everybody knew that!"

"You think this relationship can be saved by sex?"

I closed my eyes and took a deep breath, then turned around and walked back downstairs. The guilt chewed at me but I shrugged it off. We were running in circles with each other, and he needed to learn how to comfort himself if we weren't going to make it.

Another hour passed, and Wilmer came down the stairs. He was dressed in jeans, a white t-shirt, and a leather jacked- and he looked good. He had shaved, and I smelled his cologne as he passed by me.

"See you in a bit." He muttered, heading towards the door.

"Where are you going?" I asked, pulling my legs tighter to my chest.

"To pick up takeout for dinner." He didn't stop walking. "I'll be back in a bit."

I bit my lip as the door shut, my mind already going haywire about his mood. His usual outfit when he was going to get food was sweatpants and a t-shirt, and he hardly ever wore cologne because I told him I liked the way his skin smelled more than any cologne he could buy- also because most colognes made me sneeze. My mind touched on the obvious; an affair, but I immediately skipped over it. If I thought about that, I would drive myself crazy.

I curled up on the couch with Zeus, and waited.

I must've fallen asleep, because when I opened my eyes the house was dark and a container of chicken lo mien sat in front of me. I stretched out, and when I sat up a blanket I hadn't put on fell off me. I checked my phone and saw it was just past eight o'clock. A noise made me jump, and I saw Wilmer in the kitchen, his back to me as he poured himself a glass of water.

"Hey." I said softly, as I walked across the tile floor. "You could've woken me up when you got back with food."

"You looked tired." He gave me a half-hearted smile and didn't look at me as he took a long drink.