Purple Heart | Demi Lovato

13

Demi

I wish I could say that from then on it was smooth sailing, that Wilmer and I resumed our relationship like it was nothing, like the last few months hadn't even happened.

But I would be lying.

After Wilmer's fourth-of-July episode, it was like we were walking on egg shells around each other. Wilmer wasn't the problem now, but my own hesitation about our relationship. He was seemingly back to his old self, but it seemed a bit too good to be true, so I kept my walls up.

"Hey, you okay?"

I had been staring out the window in the kitchen for a long time, too long to not be noticed by him.

"I'm fine." I smiled softly at him. "How was your doctor's appointment? I didn't hear you come in?"

"Good." He opened the fridge and took out a water bottle. "They want me to keep doing physical therapy at home."

"What do you have to do?"

"Just stretches." He shrugged and took a sip of the water. "They don't want me to do any lifting, but walking and swimming is okay."

"That's good." I smiled softly, and glanced back out the window before I took a sip of coffee.

"I was thinking... I've been taking Zeus on walks, and I thought maybe you'd like to come with us."

"Sure. When do you usually take him?"

"Around now." He whistled and Zeus came trotting into the living room, his ears perked up excitedly. "You want to go?"

"Sure." I smiled and patted Zeus' head, avoiding Wilmer's eyes.

Wilmer held the leash as we walked down the street. We walked around the block three times without speaking before Wilmer started back toward our house. In a sudden burst of confidence, I reached out and took his free hand, intertwining our fingers together. I felt his eyes on my face and glanced at him, smiling softly.

"What?"

"Nothing." His eyes were soft, much like how they were before he had gotten into the marines. I had gotten used to the steely resolve that bootcamp had instilled in him, so it was refreshing to see this side of him.

"Why are you looking at me like that?"

"Like what?"

"I don't know." I glanced down at our hands. "You seem... different."

"I feel different." Finally he looked away from my face, out at the horizon. "I feel better."

"That's good." I rubbed his forearm and smiled. "I'm so glad, Wilmer."

"Are you gonna tell me how you're feeling now?" He quirked his eyebrow at me.

"What do you mean?"

"You haven't spoken much since Fourth of July, and I'm still sleeping in a different room. I'm just wondering what's going through your head."

I sighed and kept quiet for a few moments, trying to collect my thoughts. "I just... I don't want things to go back to the way they were. Things were so bad and now they're so good it seems too good to be true. Like you're going to snap out of this good mood and go back to being all dark and hate the world again."

Wilmer nodded, and took a deep breath before he spoke. "I know I messed up Demi. I don't want to take away from that fact... but I want you to know that I have no intention of going back to that place, I want us to move forward not backward." He stopped walking and turned to me, his hand coming up to tuck a piece of hair behind my ear. "I love you, Demi. I want us to be okay, and I fully intend on making sure that we are."