Forbidden Love | Reylo Fanfiction

40. Ocean

She's the answer.

I've been sat, just contemplating life, for the past two hours. It's early evening and it has only just occurred to me that I have wasted my day. It's gone. And that's my own fault really. I could blame it on Luke, I could blame it on anything but the truth speaks loudly. I have wasted my day, being pathetic. More specifically, trying to argue with Luke and instead of acting mature when I got an answer, I just walked off and sat on the sand. I hate sand. Why would I come and sit on here sand? What possessed me to sit on the god damn sand?!

Luke's words echo in my head. She's the answer. I grow angry as I think about it. Damn it! Of course she's the fucking answer, that's just bloody great! It's not that I have anything against her, it's just I don't really want to have her around me. Nothing personal. Well, yes, something personal. After all the events that have unfolded, I have come to realise that she brings trouble. Maybe she doesn't bring it, maybe I bring it, maybe we both bring it. But there's one thing I know for sure. The chemical reaction we create is not pretty, it's explosive and dangerous. It's not by any means, good.

As I sit in the sand, I pick up a small stone. I study it for a few seconds before putting it down and picking up another. My finger traces the lines on a little stone I'm holding, the pattern is so delicate yet the stone is so rough, so jagged and sharp. It's funny how nature works, all the pretty things seem to be dangerous.

"Stop it!" She squeals as I chase her, a long stick in my hand. On the end of the stick is some seaweed or some sort of soggy plant. I'm not too sure which one it is but I don't want to try and find out. For some reason, I find it amusing chasing her around with this stick.

I throw the stick to the ground and put my arms up, to surrender. She giggles as she realises that I've stopped and walks forwards slowly, making sure that her head is held high, her posture perfect. "And what exactly do you have to say for yourself, Ben Solo?" She asks in the most ridiculous posh voice I have ever heard. I try and hold a giggle in, biting my tongue to muffle the sound of my breath laughing, hysterically laughing.  "My deepest apologies, Lady Rey." I reply, my voice equally as ridiculous as hers. We both burst into a fit of giggles, falling onto the sand beneath us.

As we start to finish our laughter, I notice that the sun is going down. What a beautiful way to end a beautiful day. "Rey?" I ask, my tone back to normal. I feel her shuffle closer, her head resting on my chest. "Yes?" She replies, moving her arm around me to hug my body tight. I take a deep breath before saying anything, just to check that I'm alive, that this is real. This is happening. "When I become a Jedi, I want to run away with you." I whisper, my heart racing as I say so. Please come with me. I want her to say yes. I need her to say yes. I can't stay here. Her head shifts from my chest and she looks down and me with concern in her eyes. "What do you mean, Ben?" She asks, clearly confused. An emotion of sadness rolls over me like the ocean lapping away at the sand. I look up to the sky which is now darkening around us. "I want you to come with me, leave this all behind." I say again, sitting up and turning so my body is close to hers.

The terror in her eyes is something I know I can't forget. She shakes her head, tears filling her eyes. "No, you can't- yo- you can't do that! That's not fair, Ben!" She cries, raising her hand to wipe away the tears falling from her eyes. I feel angry, I feel sad and I feel lost. She won't come with me. She will not come with me. "Rey, please." I say again, pulling her hands into mine. She jumps slightly at my touch, which makes the hole in my heart burn more. "I'm sorry Ben, I can't let you throw this all away." She says, pulling her hands from mine and standing up to go and walk away.

"So you're just going to leave me then? Like everyone else has?" I shout, my anger bubbling inside. I'm also on my feet now, my heels digging into the sand.