Forbidden: Afterglow

Chapter 47

-CHARLEY'S P.O.V-

    I'll be honest. I've been running low on positively attitude. I'm afraid of losing everyone.
    Our babies are good. They're okay. They're growing. Already 11 inches.
    It's great that they're good. It's now Dakota that I fret over. She lays asleep in my arms but I fear that once our kids are born, she won't be laying in my arms anymore.
    Of course I will take care of our kids. With or without her. But with her would be the only real way to save my heart and soul.
    I wish it doesn't have to be the way it is. I wish that it doesn't have to harm her... or take her life.
    When it comes down to it. If she makes me pick. She won't make me pick. It will be our children to live and she to die.
    It hurts to think about her dying. I wouldn't be right. I wouldn't be complete.
    It's a terrible thought to limit your days. To think that me holding her like this or any other way is possibly the last time. Or the next. Or the one after that. Which day do we lose her and come home to no one but our children who miss their momma?
    My thoughts race for a while longer before I fall. I fall asleep with her as close as possible. With her.

    Time has flown by. But it always does. Just months ago I was in the risk stage of losing our babies. Now I'm just in the losing my wife soon stage.
    We just got back from the doctor appointment. Went from 25 weeks to 39 weeks in a blink of an eye. And to top it off, she never stops with saying that she is fat.
    I'm not going to lie. She is huge. But she's still fucking perfect.
"I don't think it's a bad idea. Plus if they do this, maybe my chances are better. She said they would be."
"How do you preform a c section on an immortal who heals self quickly?"
"They have ways. I think we should do this though."
"It's a good idea. Depending."
"Depending on what?"
"On the day."
"As close to the due date as possible?"
"That's my problem. Your family has been going out at like 41 weeks. And Finnley was at like 42. We don't know an exact."
"Would you rather the atleritive?"
"No. I don't. I don't want to lose you. If this ups the chances of you staying with me, we will do it. I'm just worried all around. I don't mean to be this way. I really don't. I'm just.."
"Calm down."
    I sigh. "You can't leave me."
    Her silence is my answer. I know she thinks she's going to die. I don't want to think that way.
"We'll do it at 40 week."
"You're only giving me a week? Only a week? Only one fucking week with you?"
     All my fears kick in. What the fuck am I without Dakota? Could I possibly raise children on my own? I don't think she understands how much I need her.
"Charley. I have already chosen. It's them or me and I chose them. If I die, I die."
     My heart shatters... tears of frustration and slight anger. I don't want her to leave me..
"I will fight to stay with you. I will fight to stay with you, okay? But that's all I can really do."
     I could lose her. I don't want to. I can't.
     She manages to sit on the bed. I sit next to her. Why does everything feel like the last?
"Why does it feel like it's the end of everything?"
"But it's not."
"If I kiss you, I'll be wondering if it's the last. If I hold you. And even the small stuff. I DON'T WANT TO LOSE YOU."
"You'll always have me, Charley."
"In what way? If you die, I won't have my wife. I won't have my love lay next to me. I won't be able to hold you."
"I will fight to stay with you."
     She wants me to accept that she may die. She wants me to. She wants me to fucking prepare for it.
    How do you prepare for your loves death? For them saying that they're going to die and you need to be alright. That you need to be okay. That you need to be sane enough to take care of our new born twins.
    How the fuck do I do that? How do I take care of our babies? And them not know who their mother was. How do I live with a giant void in my heart?
"Can we rest, please? I'm really tired."
     I help her disclothe and lay back. I hold her from behind.
"I love you." She says as she falls asleep.
"I love you too."
     Am I always going to be feeling this hurt? Like I just say I love you for the last time. It's not right. Not fair.
     Is this the last time I will hold her? Or maybe tomorrow night be the last? Or the night after? Which fucking night is my last with my love?
     I'm going to drive myself crazy. Maybe I already have. I'm scared of losing her, even if it is to gain my little loves.
    Sleep smacks me in the face. Or punches. Knocks me out.

    All week I have been in a panic. All week. And now we are here. I feel like we are in constant time jumps.
"It will be okay."
"Don't. I know what you're doing."
"I'm doing what I can, babe. I'm doing what I can."
     I don't want to do this. But we are already here. Already fucking here.
     She pulls me down to her. "You have to be ready, Charley. Our kids are going to need you if this goes bad."
"It's not going to go bad, babygirl." Valerie says.
     I find it better her parents are here. Hopefully they can help... in hopes.
    The doctor walks in and all becomes too real. I hold back my tears. Even though this is killing me.
     And it all begins. All of it begins and sends me into a spiral of pain. My chest hurts. My heart hurts.
     Dakota crushes my hand. I wish they could take her pain away but not much can take away an immortal pain because it's not often that we get pain. Human drugs didn't even work with me when I had leukemia.
    It was either this. Or.. Or.. a more painful route.
     I wipe my loves tears. But I keep monitoring everything. From the monitors for the babies and her.
    I'm ready to be a parent. But I need my wife to be with me.
    Time feels slow. Until the sound of one of the twins. The cry instantly causes my chest to hurt. An unusual pain.
"Son for mommy." The doctor says and looks to me.
    Dakota releases my hand. I carefully take Elijah. I'm sad as I look back over to Dakota. So.. pale.
    She moves her arms enough and I hand Elijah to her. "Stay with me, baby. Stay with me."
"Trying.."
    I'm given Fiona next. Her eyes just as bright as Elijah's. A deep blue that has beautiful shine of purple. Barely able to even keep them open.
     The moment doesn't hit me until the doctor knocks the surgical table over. She fumbles it and the tools. My worry grows. Thanks seriously bullshit.
"Get out. Get the fuck out." Ninfa walks up to her. "Now."
    Her words startle me.
"Ma?" Dakota says in tears.
"It will be okay."
     I look to her. She's focused. On stitching Dakota because our doctor couldn't do it.
    Her eyes sparkle every split second. Talking to Valerie. My heart is racing faster and faster.
    I keep hold on princess Fiona. While she weakly holds onto Elijah. I love them so much. My family.
"You'll be okay."
"Don't do that to me, D."
"They need you."
     .."but I need you."
"M..Mom.. will you hold Elijah?"
    She takes Elijah from Dakota. I keep hold on our princess while holding Dakota's hand tightly. My heart breaking.
"It's not time for you to leave me."
"I'm n..not. Just ..weak."
"You've just lost a bit of blood. As soon as your mother is done, I will heal what I can, babygirl." Valerie says.
    My heart prays she can do enough. This could be worse. It could be. Right? And by it could be worse meaning it's going great. She'll be okay........ she has to be.
"I love you, Charley."
"Please don't do that to me."
"I'm fighting still. But going to pass out. Pain. Blood loss."
"You'll come back. You'll come back to me.... won't you?"
"I'll never leave you, even if I'm not here anymore."
"Please don't do this to me."
    She passes out before giving me an answer. A real answer. That she will wake the fuck up.
    Fiona begins crying. A pain hits sharp into my broken heart. I rock her carefully in one arm while trying to maintain my tears. While also keeping a tight hold on Dakota's limp hand.
     It's when Elijah start a crying that really causes me crippling pain.
"I'm done." Ninfa says and looks to me. "I think she will be okay. Her body needs to regain blood, along with energy. After Valerie and I heal her, she should be set for home."
     Valerie takes Dakota's hand again. I join in the healing, giving every bit of magic I can without giving all my energy and sending me to k.o.
     They both look to me instantly. Which scares me. I've always found them to be intimidating when I'm alone.
"Did you do that?"
"Y..Yes? I thought I could help.."
"I didn't heal her, Charley. It was you..." Valerie says. In shock. In awe...
"W..What?"
    Slightly light headed. And tasting blood. And smelling it.
     I sit in the chair beside Dakota. Ninfa quickly sits in front of me. Wiping dripping blood from my nose.
"Let's take you home, okay? We'll watch over the twins while you both regain your strength."
"I just didn't want her to leave me.."
"Yeah. I know the feeling all too well." Ninfa says.
    In the blink of an eye we are home. Ninfa takes Fiona from me while Valerie still holds Elijah. I pass out as soon as I see them safe.