Treacherous

Mirages

The guard at the door didn't want to let me in. It was after hours and I didn't have my after-hours visitors pass.

"I ran out the door with a pair of shoes and my car keys!" I shouted at him. "I need to get to my fiancée, okay? Just let me in!"

The guard said something about relaxing and that he had to make some calls. As soon as his back turned, I sprinted past him and down the hall, not faltering even when he shouted after me that he was going to contact the authorities. He could go right ahead because I was the authorities.

I sprinted up the stairs to the fourth floor, skidding to a stop at the desk outside of the locked doors. Breathlessly, I explained to the woman working there who I was and who I was there to see. She didn't ask for any identification as she unlocked the doors and I rushed into the ward. All of those days there had made me a sort of regular.

Galina's room was at the end of the hallway. Alex was standing outside the door. When I started to go past him and into the room, he put his hands on my chest.

"Wait, Blaise," he said. I looked down at him, out of breath and with my heart pounding in my chest. "You should be prepared before you go in there."

"I know what can happen, Alex. I can handle her," I replied and moved again to enter the room.

"No, Blaise, that's not what I mean," Alex told me, looking up at me with an urgent look on his face. "She's not stable. She knows that what is happening is real, but those projections are still messing with her brain. She's distraught because she thinks she hurt you and that you were there when she was shot."

I shook my head. "I don't care, I have to see her."

"Luc doesn't want you in there," Alex replied softly. My stomach dropped.

"What?"

"He thinks she's too fragile. It might upset her more to see you because she might think that you should have saved her or something," he told me. I leaned against the wall, gripping the handrail tightly. "She needs a few hours, Blaise. They think she'll be okay once the drugs wear off."

"They think?" I hissed. "They think, that's all they've been doing is thinking and not knowing! When will they know rather or not she's going to be okay? Or at least somewhat okay?" I rested my head against the wall, closing my eyes. "I never should have allowed for her to sign off on this program. It's all a huge mistake."

"You can't blame yourself for any of this, Blaise," Alex replied as he leaned against the wall next to me. "You can't blame your father, either. You guys are doing the best that you can for her and that's what matters. She's in the best mental facility in the world and she's getting top notch care." I opened my eyes and looked at him. "You couldn't have prevented any of this, Blaise. I know that you think you could have handled her, but eventually she would have snapped and you could very well have been dead."

I shook my head. "No. She never would have laid a hand on me."

"She was going to kill you, Blaise."

I shook my head again. "She wouldn't have."

"She couldn't control her actions, Blaise. She would have killed you and you wouldn't have been able to stop her," Alex repeated slowly, but firmly.

He was right. The realization weighed heavily on my mind as I stared at the tile floor. If I had been asleep next to her that night, she would have ripped me to shreds instead of the mattress. By the time I would have woken up, it more than likely would have been too late.