Know Yourself [] PJM & MYG/ Yoonmin []

Chapter 8: Suffering

And now.... Yoongi had nothing.

Nothing.

• • • • • • • • • •

Morning came entirely too fast. The bright sun pushing through the windows, illuminating Yoongi's swollen face. The light blinding him as he pried his eyes open, unable to force himself to sleep any more. Yoongi's body ached as he sat up slowly. Feeling uncomfortable from not changing his clothes. Still feeling small and pathetic after crying himself to sleep. Hating himself for being weak. Most of all, the rips in his heart throbbing in his chest.
"Drink," Namjoon said, standing at the edge of Yoongi's bed. Holding out a mug of hot coffee.
"Thanks," Yoongi croaked, his voice hoarse, sipping the coffee. The warmth soothing his throat. "What time is it?"
Namjoon sat in Yoongi's office chair, drinking his own morning cup of coffee, "It's 3 in the afternoon."
Afternoon sun, Yoongi thought through another sip of the bitter drink. The flavor helping him wake up a little more. "And why are you waking me up with coffee?"
Namjoon began wiggling his foot, something he did when he was uncomfortable or nervous, "I was worried about you."
Yoongi scrunched his sleepy face in feigned disgust, "Ew. Stop it."
Namjoon laughed lightly, "Fuck you, Hyung."
"Really though... Why ate you here?"
Namjoon sighed, leaning back into the chair, "I wanted to apologize."
"For what?" Yoongi's chest grew tight thinking about the prior night.
"For using your feelings for Jimin against you like that. I was worried about our image that I forgot to be worried about my friends."
Yoongi turned to the side of his bed, resting his feet on the floor, and rubbing his face, "There's nothing to apologize for because there is no 'me and Jiminie' any more."
The younger frowned, "I don't know why he acted like that either and I don't know what Hobi is doing either. But you can't really believe it's over."
"I do," Yoongi replied solidly. "Jiminie said so himself."
"Except neither of you can go back to the way you were after this," Namjoon added.
"No. We can't. But we will play pretend for the cameras and the public. We'll perform. We'll work. We'll act. Eventually we'll just remember each other as bandmates and look back on the night we took each others virginity and be depressed. Oh wait, that's just me." Yoongi kicked his bedside table, "I'm such a fucking idiot."
Namjoon frowned, "No you're not."
"Joon-ah, Jiminie doesn't want me. He doesn't care for me like I do for him. I have to accept that."
"That's a lie and you know it."
Yoongi looked to Namjoon, feeling pained but unable to cry any more, "Do I? He's the one who walked away. Not me."
Before Namjoon could say anything else, Yoongi trudged to the bathroom, shutting the door behind him. He appreciated his friend caring about him. But Yoongi couldn't hear anything but Jimin's destructive words playing like a broken record in his mind. If he were able to cry more, he would. But now Yoongi was numb. He felt nothing. Just a hollow shell moving out of muscle memory like a marionette.
After a hot shower and changing clothes, Yoongi drug his sluggish body to the kitchen. Searching for another mug of coffee. The evening sun peered over the balcony, spilling orange tinted light into the living room and kitchen. The dorm was quiet. The only sounds were those of Yoongi clumsily making coffee. The house feeling as empty as he felt inside.
Until Namjoon stumbled loudly down the hall, most likely tripping over himself, before turning the corning and seeing Yoongi, "Oh, Hyung, you finally look human again."
"I looked inhuman before?" Yoongi spoke emotionless over his coffee cup.
Namjoon smiled, sitting art the island across from Yoongi, "You looked fucking horrible, I'll say that much."
Yoongi sipped his coffee, making sure to flip Namjoon off in the process, before speaking again, "Where is everyone?"
"Actually, I don't know. I've been in the studio all day until I woke you up," Namjoon replied, pulling his phone from his pocket and typing something.
Yoongi's phone vibrated in the pocket of his black jeans. He pulled it out and opened the notification.

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KimNamjoon: Where's everyone at?