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CHAPTER FOURTEEN—RAINBOW
[ "My world was the size of a crayon box, and it took every colour to draw her." - Sarah Kay, No Matter the Wreckage ]
The moment Jungkook hugged Seokjin was the moment everything shifted. It was as if a heavy weight was lifted from their world, allowing them to finally breathe normally. It felt good, being able to live and want to live. The denseness that covered their hearts retreated slowly and a newfound happiness spread. It was the first time in years that the pair could say they truly felt happy. THe feeling of this newfound happiness made them all giddy and excited. They loved it.
The tears they shared helped their relationship grow stronger, and Jungkook could openly admit that Seokjin was someone he relied heavily on yet he was okay with it. Because he knew Seokjin felt the same way. They leaned on each other and supported each other, and that was all they could ask for from a best friend. Best friend... It seemed so foreign to the pair yet it was so calming to know they had someone finally in their lives to be there for and to have there for them.
Jungkook couldn't help the stupid smile on his face every time he looked at the elder next to him. Not only because he was the overused term of happy, but because he got Seokjin back by his side. He was afraid of losing him for good which was something he never wanted to happen. He feared that he'd walk out just like everyone else, but Seokjin helped debunk his theory of his life. He realized that everything happened for a reason and that everything that happened to him was just leading him to the right place: Kim Seokjin. The coffee shop must've been planned years in advance. God must've known that through all the hardships, he'd find love and happiness. And he did.
He wasn't afraid to tell himself that he loved Seokjin, but he hadn't told the other about his feelings yet. He never properly got the chance to do so, and it was pushed to the back of his mind during all of this if he was honest enough. He was rattled by the thought of letting him slip away again. He was nervous that in the midst of blasting his feelings on full volume, that the man he loved would slip right through the cracks he thought he patched up, and he'd lose him into the abyss again.
It wasn't something Jungkook wanted to experience again. The void was something he wished to stay far away from, for as long as he lived. Today, tomorrow, the years to come; he wanted pure bliss. He'd do his best to achieve it, and if that meant locking his feelings up... he assumed he could do it.
But the more he let his mind take over, the more the thought of throwing the safe his feelings were kept under lock into a deep river didn't sound very appealing. A situation such as before could happen again but worse. Weighing out the options, though, was quite difficult. It was either preserve Seokjin's happiness over his own or become selfish like before. But was it selfishness or the disliked bête noire that was anxiety, better known as the anxiety of falling apart? He built himself a protective cage around Seokjin where they both could live happily together, no worries of the outside world to ever disturb them. How strong was this cage? Was is strong enough to take on rejection in its final form or will all the bars come crumbling down at the next heartbreak?
He was brought from his thoughts when a light shove was given to his shoulder. A quick look and his eyes came into perfect alignment with the man he loved, another stupid smile creeping onto his features at the mere sight of him. "What is it?" Jungkook questioned and the elder took two fingers and rubbed between his eyebrows.
"What's got you thinking so much to cause all this wrinkling?" the elder asked. "You're too young to grow worry lines."
"I'll stay young forever, if it means being with you," he blurted out and although out of context, it still fit perfectly. Everything did when it came to such a beautiful man like Seokjin.
Letting the compliment give him a boost of energy, Seokjin grabbed Jungkook's hand and dragged him up off the floor. "Come on. We've been indoors for a while and I want to get frozen yogurt. Sound good?"
Jungkook nodded, his eyes settling on the site before him. The setting sun casted a beautiful pink and purple hue through the balcony windows, Seokjin standing directly in the middle. It was as if he were a guardian angel, taking care of him and remaining delicate and pure. Never before did Jungkook's heart feel so fluttery upon peering at a man like this.
"Anything I do with you will be fine with me," he whispered, following behind Seokjin out the door.
He was lovesick but no one could cure him. And he was okay with that.
