Sasuke & Sakura : Nightlights

🔼 Bromance 🔽

"I've decided I don't want to know."

"Oh, come on! You just, you know, remove that." Naruto points south of the body. "And voila!"

Sasuke shoots him a look of disgust while Sakura adds, "And that's why you don't have a girlfriend."

"Hey! I resent that!"

But then all three fall silent and gaze upon the body.

"How are we going to explain this to Kakashi sensei this time?" Sakura breaks it with a complaint. "Honestly you two, have I not lectured you enough about restraint?"

"We were restraining. Then he made fun of Naruto's whiskers."

"And tried to get into Sasuke's pants."

"That did not happen!" sputters said man indignantly, refusing to meet the curious green eyes of his girlfriend.

"If you say so.."

"Regardless -"

POW!

"Ow! Why'd you have to hit me?"

"Why'd you have to spout nonsense?"

"Oh, as if he wasn't making all googly eyes at your pretty face. Lets face it, he - or she - was clearly into you. I can at least appreciate the dead person's taste."

"Regardless - " Sakura tries to continue.

"Which is more than what can be said for you. Fuka? Really?"

"I knew you weren't happy about that," Naruto groans. "But I swear it was the one time. And she kissed me. I didn't want to do it, man."

"Right. And next you'll tell me an albatross ran off with your clothes and your dick accidentally fell into her-"

"REGARDLESS!"

Cracks appear on the coffee table dividing it into two as Sakura's fist lands on it. The two men shiver in response, backs jarring straight. Her face quickly transforms into one that is bright as sunshine. Another shiver runs through their body.

"Fucking pregnancy hormones," Sasuke discreetly mouths, to which Naruto readily nods.  

"Like I was saying-"

CRACK! THUD! THUD! SQUISH!

Silence.

"..."

"..."

"Well, ouch. His face would have felt that if he were alive."

Sakura groans in frustration. "Aw, come on!"

"Which brings us to the point that he is not alive," Sasuke holds up a finger, choosing to ignore his girlfriend's impending rambling. From experience, she calms down quicker if they aren't listening (in most cases) and is less likely to hurl the other half of the table at them. She can be fierce that way. Naruto certainly learnt it the hard way. (Sasuke later learnt he wasn't as out of the loop as he thought he was.) "And we need to figure out what to do now. His people will surely come searching for us. Or worse: Kakashi."

"We go to Kakashi sensei and tell him the truth about what happened, obviously."

"But he might fire us."

"Not to mention the earful we'll get from the old bat."

"He's not that old," defends Sakura, ever so loyal. "Still, I wonder..."

"His age is what you're curious about? What of the fucking face we have never seen? And we've known him practically our whole life!"

A contemplative silence falls as failed schemes are replayed in their minds. After a few seconds, Sasuke shakes his head. "Lets get cleaning. At least we'll be doing something right."