To Dance (Supernatural AU)

Chapter 7

It had been a few days since Bonnie heard from Castiel, or vice versa. They had forgotten to get each others numbers again. Maybe that was a good thing.

The kiss that they shared had scared the crap out of Bonnie. She had never felt that mix of danger and safety all at once, not even with Dean. Dean was always either or, and more often than not it felt more dangerous with him than it did warm and fuzzy.

So she couldn't help but make the situation even more awkward when they finally pulled away from one another, Bonnie asked him if he was finished with his drink because it was getting late; showing him out not even ten minutes later.

Smooth move indeed.

Dean was back from his trip in Santa Monica and Bonnie cleaned the house from top to bottom, hopefully washing away any sign of Castiel that was left behind from that night. It was odd, she didn't feel in the wrong for kissing him back. In fact, she wanted to since she laid eyes on him in the coffee shop that morning. The way he was with Lilith made her ovaries tremble; she longed for children. Dean didn't want them, but somehow she knew that if she ever found the opportunity to leave her fiance, Castiel would be willing and able to take her in and give her whatever she wanted. She wasn't close to being someone who expected of people, Bonnie's mostly had to do everything for herself. Bonnie trained long hours by herself, paid for ballet classes, was rejected from many dance companies, and then finally went to audition for The Nutcracker on Broadway the winter after she graduated. She got in by the skin of her teeth, they didn't think she was poised enough to ever make it, but she proved them all wrong with her first performance. Bonnie made it as the understudy for the leading ballerina, the night before the performance, the woman broke her leg when she got drunk and tripped down a flight of stairs. That was when Bonnie's stardom began, and it changed every aspect of who she was. Her worries lied in pleasing people rather than her own happiness. When she kissed Castiel, that was the first time she had done anything for herself in the past two years.

And she had the battle scars to prove her devotion and selflessness.

Her eye was beginning to heal, finally turning a sickening shade of yellow instead of the bright blues and purples that it once was. The ones on her neck did the same as well. Surprisingly, Dean was sober when he walked through the door that morning. He was jet lagged, but as sober as could be.

"How was your trip?" Bonnie asked when he walked through the door. She was in the kitchen, preparing an all vegan lasagna. It would take her all day to complete, so she would leave it to bake in the oven while she went to rehearsal, hopefully Dean would stay home so that she didn't have to stall the cooking process before she left that afternoon.

"Fine," He mumbled as he walked past her, his shoulders square and his posture as straight as an arrow.

Bonnie looked up at him across the island in the kitchen, "What's the matter?" She questioned him and set the baking dish in the oven.

"You turned your tracker off," he replied bluntly, "How the fuck am I supposed to know that you're okay while I'm out of town if you're keeping secrets from me?"

That comment deeply disturbed Bonnie. It made her skin crawl like an army of ants lived under the thin dermis. She shook her head and tried to shrug it off, more for her sake than Deans.

"Bonnie." Dean said, expecting an answer.

"I don't want you tracking my every move, Dean," She responded as she washed her hands, looking at the diamond ring on her left one. Bonnie sighed and kept her eyes down as she contemplated whether or not she should 'accidentally' drop it down the drain. It wasn't like Dean would try and fetch it out, he didn't care enough. "Why do you feel the need to know every little thing that I'm doing? Have I ever proven myself disloyal to you?"