God's Wrath

I am alone.

Walking along a boulevard of broken dreams and dead love

A cold, red dirted road, wearing tattered white cloth

The concrete like dirt made with depression, self-doubt, feelings of worthlessness

These strong cold winds carried away the warmth and comfort long ago

Walking around mindlessly, I only see eyes.

Her eyes.

The eyes that scolded yet comforted me

The eyes that could leave me out in the cold yet give me warmth

The eyes as deep and dangerous as a rowdy sea.

Everywhere I look I see her eyes.

Still walking I wallow in the despair from being haunted by the image

Which connect to memories which connect to feelings which connect to thoughts

All of my suffering, intertwined like a spider's web, forming a beautiful picture but all I see is madness

Still walking mindlessly, my mind filled with that same haunting shade of blue, her iris burned into my soul's being

I look up to the sky, crying "Why me God? Why hast thou forsaken me?!"

The rainy clouds freeze and conjoin to form that painfully beautiful, familiar blue

The eye all along was the eye of God.

She looks down at me, sad, unspeaking

Her expression says it all

"Thou know why. You are worthless. You mean nothing and are insignificant....but I would give all the seas, moons, and all of Adam's ribs to make you a new person. A being...that could not be the Devil's advocate."

Still looking down at me, for the first time in a lifetime giving me clear thought.

I savor the sanity.

Her despair and helplessness take the form of tears and as they flew down her cheeks one falls onto mine.

My tears follow suit, closing my eyes to hold them back.

"Suffer." She says in her soft voice, masked to be cruel

Opening my eyes all I see are rain clouds scattered across the sky, crying tears of their own.

I look down to see my muddy feet, yet all I see is blue.

"Mom."  I breathlessly utter.

......

I start walking.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I am alone.

Walking along a boulevard of broken dreams and dead love

A cold, black dirted road, wearing tattered now-yellowed cloth

The pins and needle-like dirt made with betrayal, anger, sadness, stubbornness, and bitterness

These strong cold winds carried away the warmth long ago

Walking around mindlessly, I only see eyes.

Her eyes.

The eyes that could soften any icy heart, yet are now filled with hatred

The eyes that could leave me out in the cold, yet give me warmth in my lowest moments

The eyes as deep and dangerous as a rowdy sea.

Everywhere I look I see her eyes.

Still walking I wallow in the despair from being haunted by the image

Which connect to memories which connect to feelings which connect to thoughts

All of my suffering, intertwined like a spider's web, forming a disgustingly taunting picture laced with deceit

Still walking mindlessly, my mind filled with that same haunting shade of brown, her iris burned into my soul's being

I look up to the sky, crying "Why, God? How could you let her  do this to me?!"

The rainy clouds freeze and conjoin to form that painfully beautiful, familiar dark brown

The eye all along was the eye of God.

She looks down at me, sad, unspeaking

Her expression says it all

"Thou know all. You are worthless. You mean nothing and are insignificant....but I would give all the seas, moons, and all of Adam's ribs to make you a new person. A being...that could not be my  Devil's advocate."

Still looking down at me, for the first time in a lifetime giving me clear thought.

I savor the sanity.

Her despair and helplessness take the form of tears and as they flew down her cheeks one falls onto mine.

My tears follow suit, closing my eyes to hold them back.

"Suffer." She says in her soft voice, masked to be cruel

Opening my eyes all I see are rain clouds scattered across the sky, crying tears of their own.

I look down to see my muddy feet, yet all I see is darkness.

"Daughter...."  I breathlessly utter.

......

I begin to walk.