Just because you look good

Chapter 11: - You suffer underneath the surface

Alysia knew that her mother was partly to blame for this since she was aware of his cheating and lying, but she simply wouldn’t ever forgive her father for blatantly bailing on her mother when he’s found out she was carrying his child.

Abandoning family like that was not something she’d ever forgive him for which was why she hadn’t even read the letter he’d sent to her after her mother’s death and had just thrown it away. He had never been interested in her life for so many years, so she wasn’t interested in him now whether he was blood-related to her or not.

Looking at old college and pre-Carlos pictures which showed her mum bubbly, always smiling and beautiful brought up a powerful wave of emotions in Alysia which she usually did her best surpress. She missed her mom so bad it hurt, missed her laugh, her gentleness, her soft hands, her understanding nature, the smell of her perfume, the crinkles by her eyes when she smiled, her soothing voice humming a lullaby whenever Penny or Alysia couldn’t sleep, her fun stories from the past, the way she used to tell Alysia she trusted her to be responsible and how proud she was off her.

Alysia was so grieved about her loss, sometimes she didn’t know how to handle all the pain, she felt incapable of dealing with it and yet she had to. She couldn’t cry anymore but that didn’t mean it had gotten any better.

She remembered the day of the accident like it was just yesterday. Her mother had been excited because she was going to have her first day at night school in order to finish the college education she hadn’t been able to get due to her pregnancy with Alysia. She’d worn a dark blue and new blazer and had her hair up in a elegant chignon.

She’d smiled at her mother, kissed her on the cheek, had hugged Alysia who’d playfully rolled her eyes at her obvious excitement and had left the house calling “love you, be back later!” over her shoulder, her keys jingling.

Alysia also remembered waking up to bright light in her room and seeing her grandmother’s shocked, pale face. She’d known at that moment that something had been terribly wrong.

“We have to go to the hospital, get dressed,” Seraphine had said and had rushed out to prepare little baby Penny.

Alysia blinked to force her thoughts away from what happened after that and leaned her head on her grandmother’s shoulder.

Together the two of them looked through photos and smiled sadly at some memories.

“You know you two girls mean the world to me, don’t you?” Alysia’s grandmother suddenly whispered. Alysia looked up in surprise at this declaration since her Nana wasn’t usually the one to talk about her feelings. Seraphine’s bright blue eyes were teary and Alysia hugged her closely.

“I know, we love you, too, Nana,” she said quietly.

****

Around the same time that night, Shelbey was already lying in bed but her overthinking mind was keeping her awake as it did so many nights. She couldn’t seem to be able to switch the continuing stream of negative and doubting thoughts off at night when she tried her best not to let them get to her during the day.

They were about Liam, of course. Liam and Patricia.

Her brain didn’t seem to be able to wrap around the this unusual pairing and it stung. Why was she so pathetic? How could she even think for a moment that someone as attractive as Liam was interested in her?

And even if he had been at one point, Patricia showing up in the picture made her disappear. She couldn’t compare to her looks, her confidence, her style or her popularity. So why was there still a tiny part of her hoping that she meant something to Liam?