Raphael × (I) (female) reader one-shots

Rooftop talk

An authors perspective story (read some more notes at the end of this chapter)

It was a Sunday evening when she was sitting on the edge of the rooftop of the building she lives in, looking at the large skyline before her. (Y/n) felt a single hot tear roll down her right cheek. The red color of the sunset reminded her of Raph. Of his anger and his passion, his mask tied around his face he tried so hard to hide. Though the mask is only a symbolism of the secrecy as a ninja and mutant, for him it was rather a way of hiding his face as much as possible: he hates the way he looks.
(Y/n) didn't understand. Why couldn't he just say what he feels, why couldn't he just...she didn't know either what she wanted, but she was tired of him. She was tired of his endless hate that was so much more, she knew, and he could be different but every time she tried to make it better, everything became worse. He wanted to get rid of her in every way, push her away but...she loved him nonetheless, and that's what made her cry so much in that moment.
Just the bare thought of him made her heart ache painfully in her chest. She couldn't always quite explain why she loved him so much, all she knew was, that he brought out the best in her in every given way, but not enough...it was painful to try to be even befriended with him, when most of the time he just hated on her.

»(Y/n)«, she heard Raph say behind her. Surprised about that she jumped a little, but not looking around as to not make him notice that she had cried

»What the hell are you doing here?«, she asked harshly as to make her voice sound strong and sarcastic
»I'm worried...about ya. Ya have been around less in the lair recently«, he grumbled
»OH AND WHY DO YOU THINK IS THAT DICKHEAD?!«, she now screamed, standing up as she furiously turned around to him, not being able to control her emotions anymore, »IT'S BEEN FUCKING MONTH SINCE YOU WHERE EVEN REMOTELY NICE TO ME! BUT EVERY DAY I TRY TO MAKE UP AND TALK BUT YOU JUST YELL AND YELL AND SHIT ON ME LIKE I'M YOUR PERSONAL LOO FOR YOUR SPECIAL BULLSHIT!«, she felt like she was exploding as her voice raised as raised itself. Her voice threatened to brake and even Raph shattered in fear under her anger

»I...I«, he was speechless, »I'm sorry«, now she was so angry she couldn't even think anymore, she just stared at him in utter confusion
»Tell me about all the things your sorry for«, she almost whispers, »I don't quite understand what you're apologizing for. The thing is Raph, earlier in the days we've been friends and we didn't fight often, but you know what has ALWAYS been your problem: you are a fucking coward«, now he was the one looking confused
»Excuse me?«, he asked
»You where scared to do the most important thing: show your real emotions. Every time you felt something you didn't want to feel you converted it into anger, letting it out on everyone; more often than not it was me. And especially now you have done it very often, when you didn't know how to continue doing things, you let it out on me, saying all those horrible things that hurt me...and hurt you«
Silence.
Just silence.
»Why did you stay in the first place with me? I mean yeah, ye are also doing stuff with my bros, but most of the time ye're hanging out with me, having all hope in the world for me, learning ninjutsu so we can fight together; why, when I hurt ya so much?«,  he asked, his voice as low and soft as she had never heard it before. She thought she might melt under the heat of it like wax
»First you apologize«, she said, with the most stern expression she could have with the weakness she felt inside of her, just wanting to fall to her knees before him
»I apologize for being an idiot (y/n). After you went to the lair less often I noticed how much I wanted you there.
But you just made me feel so vulnerable. I was scared...so scared that it was too late to keep you out of my life...«
»That's because it is Raph«, she interrupted him, »I spent all that time with you BECAUSE I wanna BE a full part of your life. You may be an insensitive, aggressive brick, but you are also caring, loving, brave in some ways and always willing to be there for the ones you love and so many more things...every little ticks and passions of yours lit me up like I had been an unlit candle all my life, but now with you in it I was suddenly burning, feeling just...ALIVE«, Raph was in tears as you spoke those words with so much love

»Please don't (y/n)...you don't know what ye're...«, then he felt two soft lips kissing his. His tears mixed with hers they stood there, carefully feeling each other and then falling into a heated make out. It hurt how hard he embraced her and pressed her against his plastron, but she didn't mind, it was the most perfect thing she could've imagined

»Listen carefully and listen good«, she whispered as they broke apart their kiss slowly. He felt her breath against his face giving him shivers, »what I do with my life, is not your choice to make, and frankly, if there is something that makes my life better, gives me strength, passion and trust, then I'll decide to take it, no matter how dangerous«

Hi,
The reason I wrote this, is not because it's the best idea, but because it's very important to me: I wrote this chapter to symbolize a fight within, rather than a scenario. It's a story for me to cope with some serious feelings, but I thought I'd share it with you anyway. You can decide if you like it or not, it's ok: just know if you have similar struggles with someone you feel love for: you're gonna make it :3 I hope you enjoyed the story anyway, even though it was rather simple

Much love, readers of this story ❤️ stay strong