Until I Reach You: Superflash Fanfic

5. Tides

Barry POV
I knew that Kara knew that I hadn't meant what I said but nevertheless, I was angry at myself for saying it. I was cruel and I had acted out of rage, depositing it on Kara. For some reason, the bomb set inside of me, landed on her.

After Joe died, I never really grieved. I was too focused on keeping Iris well and try to help her get through her father's death, but my outburst towards Kara made me realize that, somehow along the way, I did not do any of those things myself.

That just intensified the anger into something I couldn't really solidify. I was no longer sure if I was angry at Kara, Iris, Joe or myself. Hell, maybe all of the above.

I stood pondering on Kara's apartment after she left the key for me and Iris to have a place to stay. I sit at the window sill and wait for Iris to finish showering. I struggle to keep my emotions at bay, and I feel my chest getting heavy as the lights of National City twinkle in the distance.

After a couple of minutes, however, Iris pulls me back to reality, snapping her fingers in front of my face. I shake my head rapidly and blink several times before settling back into the present.

"Barry?" She asks with her eyebrow raised.

"Sorry, I was just...thinking." I respond and she nods, quietly. Shen looks at the floor, like she's thinking too. I stand up from the window sill and pull her chin up, with a smile on my face.

"Hey, we're in National City, Iris. Let's go do something! Tell me... what do you want to do?" I ask her, trying to push the anger off me, as if it's dust on my clothes. She locks eyes with me with such ferocity that I'm taken back for a second.

"There's nothing here that we can't do back home." I give up in trying to make her happy and take a deep breathe in, genuinely annoyed. It must show on my face.

"What?" She asks, smacking her palms on to her legs, like she's the one supposed to be exasperated.

"You know...I'm really trying here t-to cheer you up a little but you...you are trying extra hard to mess it up." I struggle to say it out loud because I've put up with her for so long that it I have almost convinced myself that this is how I deserve to bet treated. But today is different. Today I can feel the rage, the pain. It's here and I'm guessing, to stay.

Her eyes show disbelief and that disbelief slowly contorts into anger.

"Oh, I'm sorry... but if you haven't noticed I'm too busy grieving my father!" She shouts at me, pointing at her chest.

"Did you forget I grew up under his roof, almost as long as you did?" I ask her and she seems to shut up for a minute. And that minute's enough to let everything I was holding my  tongue from saying, to come out.

"Iris, do you remember who held you at his funeral? Or who fed, dressed, and cleaned you, weeks after he died? It was me. I took care of you and never did I once cried, threw things around in a fit of rage o-o-or feel a damn thing! So tell me, is my pain inexistent to you or are you simply so selfish you'd rather ignore it?" She stares blankly into the distance, not even defending herself. I start to replay all those painful weeks and soon the weariness takes over me.

Her eyes are full of tears in a second, like they have been for the last 6 months every night but this time I can feel a wave of absolute hatred radiating from her.

"You're pointing fingers at me now Barry but I'm guessing that you need a little reminder." She pauses. " It's your fault Joe's dead, Barry! You're the one who has super speed, not me! You're the one who was supposed to save him, not me. Want to know why I've been so 'difficult'? Because I can't believe that you're  willing to go back to change the past to save your own parents but not selfless enough to save my dad!"