The Tattooed Devil Wears Chucks

Chapter 18: The Broken Girl

My stomach churns watching her face.  This is what I thought... this is what I was hoping she would never tell me...

"Okay" I nod to her.  I take her hand in mine.

"Was I raped?" she begins to cry harder.  "How do I know if I said yes or no?  I can't remember Jax!" 

Her questions are flying out of her mouth faster than she can think them and I can barely keep up. 

"I don't know Gabby..."

"I can't say I was raped by him if I don't know for sure.  I could ruin his life.  But what if he does it to someone else?  I don't even remember having sex! I can't even say I know for sure I had it!  He just kept telling me how good it was.  I remember getting out of the car and falling into sticks after stumbling around, scraping my hands.  I was sore the next day.  Oh my god, was I raped?  One drink, it was Sprite and Cherry McGillicuddy's for fucks sake... I only wanted one because I knew my dad was patrolling that night and my friends weren't there to help me get home.  I went there to read and there was a party..."

I can't think of anything to say to calm her down.  I watch as she begins hyperventilating as she cries.  Her hand is clutching mine so hard I'm losing feeling in it, but I don't dare pull away.  She needs it.

"I can't tell my dad!" Her eyes meet mine in panic.  "I can't tell him how I lost my virginity the night he hauled me away. I was throwing up because I felt sick about what I did! What girl wants their dad to know about their sex life? I don't even know my own sex life! He can't find out! But what if I could have stopped it? If I would have said something months ago would those girls have been raped?"

I pull my hand from hers and take her face in my hands, forcing her to look at me.  "Books you've got to calm down, okay?  Deep breaths, I know you're scared, but you need to calm down."

"I can't Alfie" she breaks down.

"You can Gabby, just breathe.  Focus only on breathing."

She shakes her head yes and begins to breathe deep with me.

"Good job.  Keep going... deep breaths."

Her eyes meet mine and I feel her body deflate.  "I hate Tyler, I always have" she cries again.  "I know I would have never said yes."

She begins crying hard again and sinks into me.  I rub her back as she sobs.  "It's okay Books.  You'll be okay."

I can't get her to stop.  I need to get her inside before the town starts talking.  "Gabby where are your keys?"

"S-S-Syd has them." She clutches me harder and speaks through her sobs. "I always lose them s-so she keeps them.  We come ho-home together."

Dan is going to murder me for this...

I stand from the bench, releasing myself from her grasp.  I grab her backpack from the grass, flinging it over my shoulder, and return to the sobbing girl on the porch, picking her up in my arms and carrying her back across the street.  I kick the door a few times before Courtney finally opens it.

"Oh no Gabby..." she covers her mouth at the site of her friend.

"I'm putting her in your bed Courtney.  Dan will lose his fucking mind if she's in mine.  She's locked out of her place."