Miserable at best

you'd be paranoid too

she was driving to the store when calum called and she almost knew what the conversation was gonna be "when i found out he was doing it years ago, i took him to the hospital after he did it and they admitted him. when he got out, he told me he was going to kill himself so we went back to the hospital and the second time seemed to help him. i don't know if that helps calum but i'll call him too"

"yeah a little. thanks, sorry we didn't tell you sooner"

"it's okay, thank you for telling me now"

michael walked upstairs to find that calum was done on the phone and the pair called their management team, who told them that they could find luke and ashton therapists or could find them treatment centers and would have to put a hold on all band things until they were better. which meant the festival they were supposed to play in a month, they were dropping out of.

"you think they're still sleeping" calum asked michael when they got off the phone

"not for long" michael said getting off the couch and walking upstairs, calum following

the pair walked into luke's bedroom surprised to only see luke in bed but their concern grew when they saw that the bathroom light was on. michael knocked on the door and calum sat down on the bed next to luke.

"ash?" michael knocked again when ashton didn't open the door. on the other side of the door ashton was cursing under his breath and pressing a towel on his bleeding arm. it was deeper than he i intended to go, he was shocked by the knocking that he dug deeper.

"gimme a second michael" he said, trying his best to keep his cool but his words were shaky and michael knew something was wrong. michael slid his hand on top of the doorframe and grabbed the key for the bathroom, unlocking the door. he wasn't surprised by the sight but that didn't make it pleasant. ashton was standing next to the sink, towel pressed to his bleeding arm, eyes wide at michaels presence.

michael turned to look at calum who nodded and michael shut the bathroom door, not to wake luke. "let me see" he said grabbing ashton's arm and pulling the towel off it. he took a deep breath and looked up at ashton "where's luke's first aid stuff"

ashton nodded towards the sink and michael opened the cabinet to grab what he needed, keeping the towel on ashton's arm and applying pressure which made ashton wince. michael shot him a sympathetic look before asking him to sit on the toilet seat. michael cleaned up ashton's 3 cuts, thankfully he walked into the bathroom at the right time.

"ash, we told your mom you're not doing good. cal and i talked to managment too"

ashton furrowed his brows "why" he was fine.

"we don't know what to do. you and luke are both struggling. you're both suicidal and i don't know what to do anymore" michael blinked away tears and ashton felt horrible. he didn't want to make his friends stressed about him.

"that's why she's called me like 5 times today? what did managment say?"

"do you remember that festival we're supposed to do next month? we're not anymore. they're making a statement for us. they want to get you and luke help and we can't do anything until then"

ashton nodded. it made sense, and yeah he didn't love it but it made sense. "i'm fine"

"you're not and you don't have to act like you are"

ashton shook his head "i have to get better"

michael smiled sadly at him "let's talk to managment about the therapist yeah? they have a inpatient option too but whichever you think would be better for you"

"i think i just need a therapist. maybe outpatient. i want to be okay."

michael nodded "let's go talk to luke yeah?"

ashton nodded and got up from the toilet seat and walked to luke's bed where luke had tears streaming down his face and was on the phone. michael shot calum a confused look "liz called" calum whispered and michael nodded.

ashton sat down next to luke on his bed and pulled luke into a hug while he talked to his mom on the phone, trying to convince her he was okay.

"mom please i'm fine here i'll put you on speaker theyll tell you i'm okay" luke said and put his phone on speaker and handed it to calum before fully collapsing into ashtons arms

"luke honey, you're not okay and that's fine! your friends aren't going to cover for you, they called me concerned. and then your managment company called me with the same concerns. you just need some help baby okay?"

luke looked at his friends, feeling beyond betrayed "what the fuck"

"luke don't be mad at them" liz said through the phone

"are you kidding? who called her?"

"i did" michael said "i'm sorry luke but i'm so fucking concerned. you pretended to be sick for multiple days to not eat and you told ashton you wanted to kill yourself last night! i didn't know what to do. i can't see you destroy yourself" michael said tears falling down his face and calum set his hand down on michaels thigh, offering moral support

"i'm fucking fine" luke mumbled and ashton smiled at him sadly

"you're not luke. it's okay that you're not okay but you need to get some help right? i'm gonna get myself some help and you can too, it doesn't mean your weak or anything luke. you just need some support" luke sobbed in ashton's arms listening to him talk. he knew he was right.

"luke baby what ashton's saying is right. you both need help and it's brave to get it" liz said over the phone. she needed her son to know that this wasn't shameful.

luke nodded at the boys "okay"

"okay?" ashton clarified and luke nodded