The Call of Eternity

46 | WAIT FOR ME

"I must go," Sethi said, reaching out to steady Edarru. She collapsed against him, clinging to him, her weeping deepening, her grief tangible. Guilt assailed him, crashing into him, treacherous, sickening waves.

"Shh," he said, stroking her hair. "There is nothing I can do. It is the path I am destined to follow, though I do not yet understand why."

"No," Edarru moaned, despairing, her voice muffled against his chest. "I beg you, stay." She pulled back, looking up at him from her tear-stained face, imploring, desperation tingeing her words. "I can wait for you. However long it will take for it to pass, for your heart to mend. I may not be Istara, but I promise to love you well, to spend my life pleasing you."

"Edarru," Sethi said, pressing a kiss to her brow. "If only it were as simple as that."

She pulled back. "I know that tone," she said, dull. "It is the same one you used before you left for Kadesh. Your mind is made up. You will never accept me, not even now, when you have lost Istara to her husband."

"She believes I am dead," Sethi answered, taut, letting Edarru go. "You would allow the woman who saved your life--who saved Nesu's life--who welcomed you into her home so you could live in comfort and security to endure a broken heart without cause?"

Edarru blinked. "No," she whispered, despondent. "No. I would not. I just thought--"

"You thought all the pieces had gone back where they belonged?" Sethi offered, gentle, into the silence.

Edarru nodded, a soft sob escaping from her lips. She sank to her knees, her devastation sweeping into Sethi, washing over him in bleak, hopeless waves. "When will I stop loving you?" she whispered, her hands clenched into fists against her thighs, bunching up the material of her gown. "When will my pain end?"

"Once I have departed," Sethi said, low, "it will be better to assume I will not return to Egypt. I sense Babylon is where my journey is meant to end."

Edarru caught her breath. She looked up at him, stricken. "So you leave us to die. Again."

"I must," he repeated, determined. "All is not what it seems. I must ask you to trust me, even if you do not understand." He knelt before her, reaching down to prise her hands from her lap, holding them in his, stroking her knuckles with his thumbs. "In another life, I believe there is only you and me. We have many children, and live to an old age, our lives filled with love and joy until we go to the gods, buried side by side in the same tomb." He paused to wipe away a tear sliding down her face. "But in this life, it cannot be. In this life, I am bound to Istara until the end." He shook his head, thinking of the dream he'd had of Horus's memory, of Baalat's city submerged in flames. "Perhaps even beyond that."

Edarru looked at him, uncomprehending, just as he had expected. "I will miss you every day for the rest of my life," she whispered, a fresh tear following in the wake of the previous one. "Until the day I die I will never love another."

Sethi brushed a tendril of her hair back from her face. "You are young and beautiful, with a heart made of the purest gold. You are a woman meant to be loved, adored, worshiped. I would have you love again." She bit her lip, and looked away. "And you have my son, my only child," Sethi continued, soft, "recognized by the pharaoh as my heir. You possess great status now. Never again need you fear being outcast."

A heartbeat of stricken silence. Edarru nodded, desolate. With a heavy sigh, Sethi rose to his feet, pulling her up with him. She huddled against him, nestled within the crook of his arm, weeping, helpless. He turned and looked back at Sehetep. The dog waited in the shadowy light of Istara's apartment, cold and empty without her presence. He gestured for the dog to follow. Sehetep lunged to his side, eager, his warm body brushing up against Sethi's thigh. He patted the dog's back, guilt assaulting him afresh for the animal's suffering. He would have Sehetep's basket moved to Edarru's rooms. When Nesu grew older, the dog could become his son's companion, boy and dog growing up, adventuring together.