Dark Storms - sequel to Silver Linings

Chapter 2

2

I remember when Shawn first hit me. He'd came home and looked tired out of his wits. He came into my room mumbling. "What babe?" I asked from my bed. I had been reading. One of those books that makes you think that life is so great. "Nothing." He laid on the floor of my room and just stared at the ceiling still mumbling. I shut my book and gently got up. He'd sat up and looked out the window. I slowly sat down next to him listening. God I should have never sat down next to him. "Why do I have to work with idiots. Why do I have to live with idiots." "Shawn. That's-" he'd cut me off by striking my cheek. Hard. He looked at me, anger burning in his eyes. I quickly got up but he grabbed my wrist and pulled me back down to the floor. He stood up and pulled me against a wall before he started slowly punching me.

Love is like being punched. In some situations you feel like you can't breathe. In others you know you can't. You get the air knocked out of you so many times you don't know what to do.

That's what I was thinking as this happened. I didn't know what to do. So I just sat there, my body making me grunt with each hit. When he decided he was done he backed up. He looked at me before walking out and slamming the door behind him.

I thought about this moment often. When I knew Shawn was coming home, I thought about it. When I heard Shawn's name. When I looked at that area of my room. When I walked past Shawn's room. When I saw Shawn's picture. Everything.

I couldn't listen to Ed Sheeran anymore. One of my comforts was a leeway to nightmares. I barely could play guitar anymore without being reminded of how we used to be. How much I wished to be back in the first six months.

Here's the thing. I may be reminded of present Shawn, but I had my happy moments. Like when I go back to when Shawn won his first award. The night he gave me my promise ring. Which I still wore.

I still wore my ring because I felt like somehow it would bring him back. Like he'd see it and just stop. Just go back to what we used to be. What we used to be. Us.