✓ | sick of losing soulmates [SPENCER REID]

prologue.

prologue
( edge of greatness. )

☆ ★ ☆

It's quite humorous, how the only people who want to live in small towns are those who don't actually live in one — and nor have they ever.

See, the thing is, they don't seem to understand it. They don't see the infinitesimal list of problems that lurk behind the picture-perfect white picket fences and smiles from friendly neighbour's: everyone's on drugs; the teenagers act like they're 'ghetto' even though they're white and middle-class; and if you're born into a small town, you probably won't ever escape.

That's always been Iris' problem, she supposes. She has lingered on the edge of greatness for her entire life, but familial ties and anxiety about moving away and, in all honesty, fear of loneliness, have held her back.

But some part of her, deep down, buried beneath layers upon layers of denial, knows it is her own fault too. Even when she is so desperate to escape, even when she knows she could achieve all she's ever wanted, she holds her self back; the terrifying, looming what if of failure is a daunting enemy, and unfortunately it is hers. It is her burden.

University was where she came closest to lunging across the gap between her comfortable life and her success. Achieving a degree in criminology and forensic psychology, she'd been determined to become a detective, and then . . . Well, before she could get planning that far ahead, the opportunity slipped away.

Her dad passed, and she had to stay in town with her mom, and by then job opportunities had risen at the local Sheriff's station, and the pay was shockingly brilliant — how could she say no? How could she just leave her mom and her easy life and that — unprecedentedly boring — job offering behind?

She's a small town girl, destined for a small town life. In her twenty-four years of living, and her three years of rising up the ranks in her town's Sheriff Department (and she's Deputy now, the youngest in her State!), she's come to accept that this is it. Her life.

Like a dull ache, or a scar, the longing for something more, something challenging and thrilling, remained, but acceptance put out the fire of ambition in her heart.

Then the first murder case she's ever worked — no, not just murder, but triple murder! — turns up in a brown manilla folder on her desk, and with it comes the FBI —

(and Spencer Reid, unfortunately, because he's one of the most irritating — and brilliant, which is even more irritating — people she's ever met; with a tendency to feel  second-hand embarrassment incredibly strongly, she must admit that it's quite unlucky she stumbles upon him, one of the most embarrassing and nerdy — and cute, but she'll never say that aloud — people she's ever met.)

— and without looking back, she finally ignores the risk, ignores the fear, and takes the leap.

☆ ★ ☆

Author's Note:
This was highkey nowhere near as angsty as I planned it to be, but I think it suits Iris' self-deprecating and sarcastic personality a lot more. I'm still deciding whether this should be a happy (kinda,,, people die) fic where Iris is the comedy relief, or angsty and shit. Any preferences?

(though either way I will have some angst, I love making my characters suffer) (I'm not a sadist or sociopath or anything I promise)

Also, I'm experimenting with present tense, and it's a habit for me to write in past tense, so sorry if I slip in and out occasionally cause I've noticed I do that lmao