Typewritten

Letter

it's currently 1 a.m. and i can't sleep because of you. i can't believe you did it a month ago. it feels like it was yesterday.

i guess i was in too much grief to write this sooner. i owe you this much at least.

so, hi, i hope you're well. up there. i'll start now.

i want you to know you were my best friend. and i grew to like you. as a crush. but i was so afraid to ruin what we had, so i didn't push anything. i'd like to think we loved each other. as friends and as significant others. it sure felt that way.

you didn't leave a note. all i hope is that i wasn't one of the reasons why you did it. because i never meant to hurt you if i did.

to be honest, i cherished our friendship so much. we were total opposites and no one expected us to be friends. i was a sporty person, you were a geek. i was pretty popular, and people only knew you through me. but that's what was so beautiful about us. we surprised people. we surprised each other.

whenever i had to stay back after school for basketball, or tennis, or soccer... you'd wait. you'd sit on the nearby bench or on the field and you'd draw me in action. you had an entire sketchbook dedicated to me. sometimes at night i'd cry at how sweet that was.

because you loved me as much as i loved you. and that was shown in this sketchbook. i still keep it under my bed, by the way. just so i can look at it when i feel lonely at night.

every time you'd complain that you drew my nose incorrectly, or the hair didn't look good enough.

but truthfully, you made me look better than i actually look.

your mother had cancer. and she died from it. i think you died a bit from that too. she took a part of you with her. i wish you knew how much i was willing to give up for you in that moment when you told me.

i was willing to give up everything.

for you.

i wish you told me you were suicidal. or why you did it. well, i guess you liked to keep some stuff to yourself no matter how much you trusted me. if you told me, though, i would have hugged you so tight just so you'd know i wouldn't let go.

but you let go.

at least you went in a peaceful way. i can't believe you weren't afraid to sleep, knowing you wouldn't wake up. i sure would have been.

i'll finish this off now, by saying i miss you so much. school is so bland and i can't believe i ever survived it without you. and no worries, i will continue to visit you every fortnight. see you.

with much love,
your best friend.

a/n: i love this one.

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