Forbidden: Afterglow

Chapter 15

    With Ninfa at school, Finnley working in the store here, I have just the right amount of time to make a letter. The letter..s.. letters. But for Ninfa.. It's got to be done this way because she won't want to hear it any other.
    So this is what I have. Because I'm not perfect. And I will never say the perfect thing.
'My love, I am sure you know why you are reading this. And I am sorry. I never ever intended to leave you. Just because I am no longer here doesn't mean you're alone. You're not alone. You have our children. You have our friends. Our family. And now the world and all my power and gifts. I just need you to know that I love you. I love you with all my heart and so much more. Be strong for me, be strong for our family, be strong for our people. You are stronger than you could ever have thought. You just need to find it within. I love you, Ninfa.'
    And to my children. 'I never saw myself as a mother or a parent. And I'll be honest, it was the best thing I ever did besides being with your mother. I'm not going to lie to you guys, you guys are my beautiful perfections. Each one of you are made perfectly and you should never let anyone tell you otherwise. I love you guys so much and I'm honored I got to raise you and love you like I never was. You guys showed me how much love I truly had to give and I still manage to love you more.'
    And of course.. to Joel.. 'Been a crazy ride. I'm so glad I got to spend most of it with you. From the first happy birthday to the very last hug. I love you, Joel. You're my brother and my first best friend. Don't think I could have done much of anything if it weren't for you saving me countless times. Take care of my family. Show them love and care. And never, ever, ever forget to feed Misty. She will try to eat you. I love you, bro. Thank you for sticking with me this long.'
    I even go as far to put a note for my people. 'I have had a wonderful set of years leading you all into happiness. But I leave on to, hopefully, a better place. Ninfa is your leader now as I had been before. Adore her as you adored me. Help her as you helped me. Seek help when it is needed. Have trust that you're safe in her hands.'
     I write all of this... because I have a feeling. And though I could be wrong, I may be right. I write this because I know that I have a matter of days before our son is here. I write it because I could never let Ninfa look at me in the eye as I die and have her be hating me the last second I see her.
    Whatever is to come, I will fight to stand. I want to be here with our son and the rest of our psychotic family. I will fight to stand tall.
    In any case... I sigh.
"Finn, I'll be right back." I speak as he comes into view.
"Where are you going? I thought we had neighbor territory to set up."
"We do, Buddy. I gotta talk to Joel real quick."
    I teleport to the school. It uses an absurd amount of energy but I have enough to last the day. I stop time, Ninfa included. Pulling Joel into my time alone.
"Hey, Valerie. Is something wrong? Are you okay? Is it time? Where's Ninfa?"
    I laugh to him. "Nah. Not time just yet. Few days max."
"You can tell?"
"In a sense. But I need you to pass this on. One for Nin, our kids, you and everyone else."
"Valerie, no. You can't."
"Joel. I'm serious. It's just an in case thing. I can feel something big is to happen. I just need you to pass these along if it does."
"Why can't you speak them aloud?"
"Because. Do you know my wife?"
"Riiiight. Okay. Okay. But promise me that this isn't going to happen."
"I can't promise that."
"Don't make me cry in front of my class. Don't do this to me."
"Just pass the letters along if any thing happens. It will be okay."
    He pulls me into a hug. Or a semi hug. Holding me the best he can and as tight as he can.
"I'll pass then along if it comes to that. But at least promise me that whatever is to come, you make sure to fight. Fight to be there when it's all over."
"When have I ever backed down from a fight?"
    He sighs. "I know. My hero."
    I laugh into the hug. "Sure. Everything will be okay. This is just an in case thing."
"Promise to fight."
"I promise."
    He sighs loudly and pulls from the hug. "Pull me in when you're in labor. I want to be there."
"Not seeing."
"Definitely not. But. I want to be by your side."
"You got it."
    He kisses my forehead before an take my leave. The teleport has me dizzy. I'd almost fall back of Finnley hadn't caught me.
"Maybe I should take you home for the day, Mom. You look tired."
"I can go one more round. Can't teleport though."
"Let me take the next week."
"Finn.."
"Mom. Ma is going to make you do so anyway. You know she will. If she could see you right now she would force you home and in bed."
"She overreacts."
    He laughs at me. "No. She doesn't. One more round and then I'll take care of it on my own for a week. I know the ropes, how to do stuff and all. I can do it."
    I find myself in smiles. "I know you can, buddy."
"So yes?"
"Your mother will make me anyway. So. Yeah."
    He takes my hand and we are off to the next job. I do my part and wait for him to do his fully. And in the whole process I'm in deep thoughts.
    Whatever is to come, I am both calm and terrified. I do not want to die but if I do, I do. If nothing happens at all, I will be grateful to just watch my son be welcomed to the world.
     Both calm and terrified. Wondering if I will be in a lot of pain. Wondering if I will be okay. Stressing on if our son will be okay. If he will make it. Calm that I could die but terrified that I'd leave so much behind.
    I guess it's just a wait and see. So now I wait. And hopefully see. Hopefully live to see.