Annalise

Chapter 26

**Annalise's POV**

I lie awake, watching Fred sleep. He's on his stomach, his arms curled around the pillow, his mouth slightly open. He looks so relaxed and vulnerable. I brush my fingers lightly through his hair and lean over and kiss him lightly on the cheek. He stirs, mumbles something, and falls back into a deep sleep.

The sun is starting to come up and I let out a soft breath.

"Fred," I shake his shoulder gently, "Fred, wake up."

He groans and rolls onto his back, rubbing his eyes. I lean over and kiss him softly.

"Today's the day," I say, "come on, time to get up."

Fred grins and bounds out of bed, stretching.

"And what a day for it," he says, opening the window and inhaling deeply, "mm, smells like spring!"

I wrap my arms around him and kiss the back of his neck.

"Come on, we have to go before your mum wakes up," I say. I slip into the bathroom and brush my hair, doing a braid across the front of my head and leaving the rest out. I dust on a bit of makeup and then slip into the white dress I made for today. I meet Fred at the back hall and we slip out, hand in hand. We disapparate to the small chapel in Yorkshire and are married before eight o'clock.

"You may kiss the bride," the priest says, then takes his leave. Fred leans down and kisses me softly.

"So, Mrs Weasley," he says, "what now?"

"First of all, Mrs Weasley is your mother, never call me that again," I say, making him laugh, "and secondly, I want some breakfast."

We walk through the muggle village, my heart pounding. I can't stop smiling. The small band around my left ring finger feels warm and comfortable. Fred winds this fingers into mine and I can feel the matching band on his finger. We find a cafe and have eggs on toast.

"It's not exactly a wedding feast," Fred says, apologetically.

"It's perfect," I say, smiling at him. Afterwards we head home, knowing the others will be up and probably looking for us. As we approach the house the happy glow inside me dims a little, clouded by fear. Fred squeezes my hand comfortingly and pushes the door open.

"WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN?!" Mrs Weasley demands, storming into the corridor, "WE WERE WORRIED SICK-"

"Mum," Fred pulls her into a hug, shocking her into silence, then steps back and takes my hand, "we were just getting married."

"Y-you were, you were what-?!"

Fred puts his arm around my waist, pulling me close.

"I didn't want to wait," he says, "there's too much uncertainty. We can do a proper wedding after the war, if that's what we want to do, but I wanted Anna to be my wife now."

Mr Weasley and George have joined us in the hall. George smirking, Mr and Mrs Weasley staring at us in shock.

"Why didn't you tell us?" Mr Weasley asks, sounding a bit hurt. I glance at Fred.

"Dad," he hesitates, then sighs, "it wouldn't be fair on Anna for me to be surrounded by family when..."

"We just wanted it to be the two of us," I add, my mouth dry while tears are swimming in my eyes. I turn my face into Fred's shoulder, trying to discreetly dry my eyes on his shirt.

"We're not angry, just surprised," Mr Weasley says, "but congratulations, that's very good news."

I feel warm arms wrap around us and Mrs Weasley's hair tickles my face.

"My little Freddie! Married! I remember when you were both this high!"

"Mum!" Fred groans, laughing, "geddoff!"

We lie in bed a few weeks later, Fred's arms wrapped around my waist, his face pressed against the back of my neck so each snore feels like my skull is rattling. I trail my nails back and forth over his arm, enjoying the feeling of perfect happiness.

I wonder how long this will last.

The thought pops into my head, unbidden and I feel like I've been dunked in cold water. I don't want to go back to that darkness, to the feeling of sinking. I want to stay here, to stay awake and energetic and in love. I can't go back. I can't.

The fear last until the morning. I can't help but over analize every feeling I have, wondering if this is the beginning. Fred can tell something is up, I think everyone can, but I can't tell them. They wouldn't understand. They don't know what it's like. It's like falling into a well. You can see the light above you, but no matter how hard you climb, it gets fainter and fainter until you're trapped, pulled into and under the water, feeling like you're being weighed down and trapped.

I can't shake the feeling. It invades me. The terror of being pulled back into that place. Maybe this time I'll never get out. I don't want to go back!

I lie awake at night, afraid to go to sleep in case when I wake up the darkness has come back. I try to stay awake, I have to stay awake.

As the days go on, I start to wear down. I'm exhausted. The fear has its claws sunk right into me.

I sit on the edge of the bathtub, staring at the wall. I can't fight anymore. I'm so tired. I pick up the knife from the counter and say a silent goodbye to the world.