Annalise

Chapter 13

**Annalise's POV**

I blink my eyes open slowly, feeling heavy and worn out. Everything around me is white. I blink a few times and try to make sense of my surroundings. I'm in a bed with white sheets, surrounded by white curtains. I feel a little tired, but otherwise fine. I sit up and run my fingers through my hair. It's knotted and greasy. I grimace. I feel dirty. My teeth need brushing.

I pull the blankets back and slowly get out of bed. My legs are a little shaky. I'm dressed in a light blue hospital gown, and have a plastic bracelet with my name on it fastened around my wrist. I push the curtains back and take the room in. It's small, with another bed in the corner, surrounded by curtains, concealing the patient. I take a few tentative steps, then a healer appears in the room, making me jump. He smiles at me.

"Annalise, you're awake," he says, "fantastic. How do you feel?"

"Um, okay," I say, sinking into a chair, "is this Mungo's?"

"It is!" he pulls a chair over to me and whips out a clipboard, "are you feeling drowsy at all?"

"Not really," I shake my head, "why am I here?"

"Ah," he lowers the clipboard, "well, Annalise, you have a mental disorder. The same thing your mother had. You're here so that we can help you get better."

"Mental disorder?" I frown, "I'm crazy?"

"No, no, no!" he laughs, "not at all! But you were having a pretty hard time, weren't you?"

"I guess," I say, rubbing my head, "how did I get here?"

The healer clears his throat and stands up.

"Why don't you have a shower and get changed?" he says, "it's nearly lunch time, you must be starving!"

I'm not, but I do want a shower. I look around and frown.

"Where's my wand?" I ask. The healer looks a little uncomfortable, but forces a smile.

"For the time being, it's best if you don't have it on you," he says, "I'll be back in a bit!"

He disappears and I step into the small bathroom. There's a fresh towel and some of my clothes on a chair. I undress and step into the hot water, letting it flow over me. I close my eyes and try to remember how I got here. I remember leaving Fred, feeling down, stuck, awful. I remember feeling amazing, looking for the twins, being terrified. Then I remember being half asleep, someone picking me up. Try as I might, I can't remember anything else.

I wash my hair, then step out of the shower and wrap the towel around me. I brush my teeth twice. I lean over and wipe the steam off the mirror. What I see frightens me. My eyes are sunken, surrounded by dark shadows. My cheek bones are too prominent. My ribs are poking out, my hip bones sharp and pointed. I turn away, feeling sick. I pull on my clothes, trying to ignore how they swim on me. I don't have any shoes, so I pad back into the room barefoot, my hair falling in damp clumps around my face. The curtains have been pulled back from my bed, and the bed has been made. I climb onto it and pick at my nails. How did this happen? I'd always swore I'd never become like her but now... Now I'm exactly like her.

I hear voices in the corridor, quiet, but getting louder. They're familiar, one of them is the healer before. They must stop, just outside the door, lowering their voices. I'm about to get up and get closer, when a pop on my left makes me jump. A lunch tray has appeared there, and my stomach growls, distracting me. I pull the table over to the bed to investigate. I lift the cover and find roast vegetables and chicken swimming in gravy. There's a hot roll on the side and some kind of pie for pudding. My mouth is watering and I tuck in, eating too fast. I burn my tongue and force myself to slow down. I start to feel full halfway through the meal and sit back, knowing I'll make myself sick if I try to finish it all.

"Oh, good! You've had lunch!" the healer comes back in, "now, Annalise, I want to sit you down and explain everything. Is that okay?"

"Was someone else here?" I ask, looking at the doorway. The healer smiles.

"They'll be back," he says, "right now, I want to focus on you."

The healer, Lucas, explains that I'm in the mental ward at Mungos. He explains what's wrong with me, how my brain wiring needs a little help to do its job correctly, but how with the help of potions, I'll be able to live a full, normal life. I ply him with questions, which he answers patiently and kindly. I cry a bit. Well, a lot. Then he tells me how the twins found me, lying in my bed with one arm all torn up. He said it didn't seem as if I had eaten for quite some time, and I was very weak. I asked if I could see the twins and he said that once I had settled down and the potions had had time to work, they would come to visit.

My first few days on the ward I barely venture out of my room. My roommate is very quiet. Lucas says she has depression. I sit and read. I take the potions and I start to feel more normal. Lucas and another healer, Jessica, check in on us, making sure we're eating and taking our potions correctly. I start leaving the room, exploring the rest of the ward. There's a large common room where the patients are allowed to mingle, watched over by healers. There are books, board games, and cups of tea. I'm surprised by the amount of witches and wizards with problems here. During one of our 'chats' I mention this to Lucas and he tells me that a lot of people have problems, muggles too, not just magical folk, and that it's nothing to be ashamed of. I strike up a bit of a friendship with an elderly witch called Madge and a young wizard who calls himself Elk, but is actually called Lauchlan. We sit and play chess, taking turns to play each other, while talking of our Hogwarts days.

After a couple of weeks I'm feeling very much at home. We have a good routine, with group talks, private talks with the healers, and 'activites'. One day I'm sitting on my bed, finishing off a book when Lucas walks in and takes a seat on the chair next to my bed.

"Annalise, you've been doing so well," he says. He starts a lot of conversations like this, but I feel a little bit proud each time.

"I wanted to talk to you about having visitors," he says, "we've talked about your relationship with the Weasleys, Fred especially. How would you feel about seeing them?"

My stomach twists with nerves and longing. I set my book aside and sit up straight.

"I want to see them," I say. He nods, giving me an understanding look.

"It's natural that you'd feel nervous," he says, "we can start with a chat with all of us, if you like. Or with just Molly, or just Fred, what do you think?"

I swallow hard, suddenly shaking.

"I don't know," I say, "is he mad at me?"

"He doesn't seem to be," Lucas says openly, "more worried, I think. They all care about you very much."

Tears well up in my eyes and Lucas, as always, has a tissue ready.

"How about we start off with the four of us together?" he suggests, "we can have a cup of tea, do a bit of catching up."

"Five," I say, "five of us. George too."

"Of course," Lucas nods, "George too."

I nod and take a big breath.

"Okay."