release

Jungkook wanted to forget.

He wanted to let go.

But he couldn't.

It was like this everyday; Jungkook would stare at a living room filled with furniture and decoration, remnants of what his members had left, and yet it felt so empty to him. It wasn't that Jungkook refused company, it was just that everyone else was so busy with performances and schedules that he just politely declined. They all deserved rest, anyways.

Some nights, unlike this one, Jungkook would be producing a new song off in his studio, or conversing with the group's fans over a live chat. He always loved talking with them, seeing as Jungkook thought of the fans as his family. They were never just people he needed to please, they were people he wanted to please. Of course he needed to make sure they were happy, but sometimes, he forgot about himself. He would get lost in everyone else's melody, that he would forget to care for his own.

Jungkook sat up from his spot on the couch, thinking of why he couldn't find the same happiness as others. Crossing the room to the vinyl record player that his group members gifted him for Christmas and pressing the needle to the track, he chose instead to think of why he wouldn't find the same happiness as others.

He knew that whenever he got into one of these 'moods,' that he would just fall farther and farther down the rabbit hole. Jungkook tried to get help, but was turned away. He was also never one to cause a scene, so Jungkook decided to continue pursuing his dream of music, and eventually his body would give up. On the day his body gave up, he was determined that he would pass with the idea that he was loved. Happy. Remembered.

Jungkook looked up at the stars one last time, studying the sky and the moon, replaying each memory the fans that loved him so dearly gave him. They were his family, his home, his comfort. It was always enough for him, if anything, it was more than enough. Everyday, Jungkook would think of the voices that sang with him at his concerts, praised him at fan meets, and cheered on him and his members. All he could hope was that his departure wouldn't be in vain, and that maybe they would be able to move forward from him. He hoped he was an inspiration.

Jungkook wanted to forget, to let go.

He felt loved when it happened, a bittersweet feeling that almost made him laugh at the irony of it all. Even if he was still young when it happened, Jungkook wanted to let go.

And he did.

He let go.