Chronicles of the Anorexic, the Heroin User and the Sex Addict

Chapter Three

                                                                Addict Three: The Girl Addicted to Sex

                                                                                 Emma's POV

"Emma, i'm serious."

I want to laugh in his face. Men are so funny sometimes. Like little boys, just pouting and staring up at me, as if I hold the answer to some sort of riddle.He tries holding my hand. I let him, secretly bored to death. I'm going to have to let go of him. He always thinks that because we have casual sex, that we have some sort of bond. Then he proposes the idea of a relationship. There's nothing more that turns me off than hearing about relationships. They were pointless. I can't name how many married men i've hooked up with. Obviously they don't care too much about their relationships or they wouldn't be cheating on them.

"Dan," I swallow, searching for the right lie, "You know that i'm still hurt from my last relationship. I can't have another one for a long time." I force a few tears into my eyes. I'm wonderful at producing tears on the spot. It's what got me a lead role in a high school play. Talent, really.

"Emma," I saw tears form in his own eyes, ones that I knew weren't faked, "I love you. I know it sounds silly, but I really do. You got out of that relationship over a year ago. Can't we move on?"

My eyes stare back at him, cold and unfeeling. I pitied him, but he was so damn annoying. He loved me? Hell, I never usually even conversed with this guy. I let him buy me stuff once in a while out of guilt, but other than that, i'd never called him or told him my issues. The most he "knew" about my past was about my so called bad relationship. I haven't dated anybody since junior year of high school.

"I've got to go, i'll call you later or something." I rip my hand out of his, and the hurt in his eyes is immense. A small amount of pity and shame rise up in me. I push it down, it's best if I hurt him now, before he gains any hope.

"Emma, wait." He stands up, his tall, broad frame in front of me. No getting out now.

"What Daniel?" I'm getting annoyed with him. I have a doctors appointment in twenty minutes and it takes a half hour to get there.

"Just hear me out." He sucks in a deep breath, "I can imagine spending the rest of my life with you. You're simply amazing, flawless even. You're beautiful, headstrong and intelligent. You're unlike any other girl. I could imagine having children, watching them grow as we age." He smiles. 

All I felt was anger. "I'm unlike any girl because I don't give a fuck, okay? All you were to me is sex. Can you get that through your thick skull, huh? Don't contact me anymore. Obviously you couldn't handle this."

I storm passed him, not listening to him as he shouted after me. I hear him telling me he'll wait, that his love for me live never end. It pisses me off to no avail. What would he say if he knew I couldn't have children? Would he still feel all this "love" for me? No guy would, because every damn man wants to pass on his sperm to the next generation.

My car is burning hot as I slide into it, and I sigh, noting that my air conditioning still isn't fixed. Luckily I knew some men that could do me some favors. I looked into the mirror on my visor. My eyes flashed back at me. I always feel a little grateful when I look into mirrors. It's no doubt that I'm gorgeous, and I'm more confident than any girl I know. 

As I drive down the freeway, I feel the familiar feeling rise up. It's something i've had ever since I started puberty. It's slightly embarrassing, but I know what it means. Lust. No amount of men seemed to satisfy me. I've had sex with men who were just as experienced as I, and they couldn't even get the job done. Sure, I could orgasm, but that didn't mean much anymore.