She's My Constant

In her loving Memory

"Where are you going?" She asked with out looking up at me

"I just need to get something, from my unit. I will be back." I said as I walked out from her unit. 

I opened my unit's door, I looked for my jewelry box on top of my study table.

There it was, the ring that I was supposed to give to Solenn, for some reason, I always kept it. I always knew that Solenn was the one for me, the girl I would marry, I planned to propose to her on the last day of our College days, out of excitement I bought this ring a few years back, we had plans to study arts, she had the plan to become a painter and I would become a writer. But, like how she briefly ended her life, my plans after her death changed, I decided to take up Psychology and become a Doctor like my Dad. I had it easy growing up, my Dad chose to love me and understand me, because he knows how everything can trigger your Mental Health to fail. I have been silently praying for Solenn's blessing, I think she gave it to me earlier, when I looked into Kate's eyes. I saw her in my future, us having fun and kids. Instead of tears and pain in my heart, I felt light and smiling at the thoughts. That is when I knew I was ready to let Solenn rest, her memories will no longer be a burden to me, but will instead be another one of my life's stories which led me to finding Kate.

I walked back to Kate's condo unit, our orders have arrived. She just came out the Kitchen with two glasses and a pitcher of Iced Tea, she smiled at me and sat on the floor. I smiled back as I took a seat beside her, putting my arm around her. She smiled at me.

"Here you go Mr. Valerio." she says as she hands me a plate with pasta on it and a slice of our favorite pizza.

I smiled at her as she starts to dig in on her pasta, I started to dig in myself. While we were eating, we worked on designing the memory board, we were sticking photos and some alphabet cut outs she made. 

"Babe.." I trailed off she looks at me before going back to sticking stuff into the Memory Board

"Hmmm?" she says

"I saw you in my future, you and I, happy with our kids. At the exact moment I did, I no longer felt guilty about Solenn, I used to blame myself for her death, that what if I had paid more attention to her back then, would she still be alive today? We had dreamt of building a life together, I was going to be a poet and she a painter. We had it planned that way. Until she ended her life." 

"Shhhh.. let me finish first." I silenced her

"Before, when I think of this things, it makes my heart feel pain, because I was guilty of letting her do that to herself. She should be alive, but she isn't, in my mind, I did kill her. But with you, I felt secured and relieved of these pains, I felt I am sure that I want kids with you, build a life with you. I also felt lightness, no more guilt. I know, that I shouldn't re-purpose this engagement ring that I bought for her, but I will as part of letting her memories be a part of how I found you. It's my promise ring to you, that I will love you and take care of you every day, even if we get through a rough patch, I promise to tell you everything that is bugging me, I promise to talk to you and make things right, give you everything that I could." I said as I take out the ring from my pocket.

Tears are falling down from her eyes now, I kissed her forehead, her eyelids, her nose, her lips and lastly her hand before I slipped the ring on her ring finger where her Mom's promise ring was. She hugged me tightly and sobbed. She was having trouble breathing, after quite a while, her breathing stabilized. She pulls away from my hug.

"Babe, Thank you, I keep telling you how thankful I am for all of what you have done for me, for opening your heart to me, for loving me and being honest with me. I will spend the rest of my life trying to make you feel how much love I have for you, I will be loyal to you just like how I've been all these years. This, all of this revelations, make me fall in love with you even more." She hugged me again. I got the Instax camera and snapped a photo of her holding up her rings on her finger, while I was kissing her lips.