It's still you

Moving on

WARNING: MAY TRIGGER OTHER READERS!

Perrie's pov

Hey pez you ready to go?, i heard lauren said while i was in the shower.

'Hold up wait, i replied.

I can't believe it's actually time to go, it's time to move on and let go. Until now i still don't know what made Jade leave me, again. Is it because i'm not enough? Or she just woke up from reality that she is dating a girl with a dingdong. Whatever the reason is i don't know if i could still forgive her, one is enough, two is too much and three is over. She left me for the third time, why does she always have to do that? Once i was done i wrapped my towel around my body and went out of the restroom.

Hey, Lauren greeted me with a smile, She was seating at the edge of the bed.
'Hi there, i replied
You ready to go? She asked

I just weakly smiled at her, but you can clearly see the sadness within my eyes.

She stood up and went over me, she cupped my cheek and spoke.

We don't have to leave if you don't want to, she said looking straight into my eyes.
'No, it's okay we'll leave. Besides school already starts tomorrow, i replied.
You're gonna be okay?
'As long as you're here, i said and quickly hug her.

It was supposed to be a long hug but she pulled away, i looked at her with a confused face then i looked down and form my lips into a "o" shape. I realized my only clothing on my body is a towel, you could feel my dingdong on it.

'I.... i'm sorry, i said while looking down.
Hey it's okay, she said while lifting my chin.
You don't have to be, then she kissed my cheek. Go get dress pez, it's gonna be a long drive, she said.
'Okay.

Skip car ride

Lauren and i parted ways, i went to my dorm and same with her.

'It's good to be home, i muttered.

But this is not home, my home is Jade. Where could my home be.

Enough of that Perrie! It's time to move on! , that suddenly snap me back to reality. She is really gone.

i slouched at the sofa and turned on the tv, i'm really tired but at the same time i'm really bored. It still hurts me so i decided to find a way to ease the pain.

I went at my school supplies and get the cutter that i was using, it wasn't that rusty so i started cutting my wrist.

Shit, i muttered.

Every slice hurts but when i got the hang of it, it was just nothing. I sliced the same part 2 times then i sliced another one. I could see the blood dripping, i looked down and there was teardrops of blood everywhere. I started to feel a little better so i stopped, i washed my arm and cleaned all the blood that is on the floor. I still feel a little bit of sting in my heart, i opened my fridge and took out 5 cans of beer. I poured all of it in one pitcher and started chugging it. It made a sting in my throat but that doesn't matter, after a while i could feel my self being dizzy and before i know it i fell right on the floor.

This is all too much.
》》》》》》》》》》》》》》》》》》

I woke up still on the floor and with a serious headache, i looked over the clock and i still have a hour before i go to my first class. I didn't even made breakfast i wasn't in the mood to eat, i quickly took a shower and put on the laziest looking outfit that i could wear. It was a baggy jeans paired with a longsleeves so that it would cover my scars , perfect right? I put on my white converse and went to my first class. I didn't even put on any make up or even look my self at the mirror but one thing's for sure, i look horrible.

Well as usual class was pretty boring, i still have 3 hours to waste before lunch break.

Ring ring

I quickly made outside the room and sprinted at the cafeteria. Once i saw my friends i went over to them.

God Perrie you look horrible! Leigh said while examining me.
'Thank you for your compliment Pincock, i said.
Yeah right.
Perrie? are you okay? Jesy asked.
'Ofcourse i'm okay! It's not like i lost something oh my bad, i mean someone that means the most to me, Ofcourse i'm fucking okay! I said while being bitchy.
Perrie, Zayn said.
'What?!
Look at you! You're not you! We don't even know you anymore!
'Why do you care?! ya'll didn't even cared for her! I said while standing up and walking away.

I went to the restroom and locked myself at the cubicle, i started crying like crazy. It was just too much for me, i opened up my bag and took out my blade, i started slitting my other wrist to ease the pain, it never disappoints me.

Once i was done i went to my dorm and locked it, i skipped class and just spend my day crying and crying and crying, graduation day is just around the corner, i can't wait to start again.

Go on Perrie!