Brave

On Being Tim

This is the rulebook for people with access to this account. It was saved as a draft so it was ~super secret~. Whether or not it was actually read, I have no idea.

Hey and Welcome

Hey, everyone. This is Xeno, and I guess this account has elevated me to troll status. Should I be proud or ashamed? Probably ashamed.

Anyway, you're here because I trusted you enough to tell you the ~secret~ of Timmikins and give you the password to this account so you could join me in my quest to give all of Wattpad a good laugh. But to do this and keep it consistent (and also not to immediately alert everyone that this is a troll account o.o) we gotta have some schmancy fancy guidelines for all of us to follow. They'll be later on, but first, here are the usernames of people who are in the Secret Cult of the TimTroll:

CUT FOR PRIVACY

Probably more coming tbh, because this is by the people, for the people. Or something.

Ooh! Do we need a mission statement? Here's our mission statement:

We the people of the Not-So-Secret Cult of Tim go about our troll-y business with the purpose of causing chaos, stirring up Drama, and making Wattpad a little less serious. Everyone likes to make fun of an idiot, and Tim is that idiot. So let's all pretend to be idiots together!

Rules

Every good cult -- did I say cult? I meant group of friends-- needs some rules, right? Well, here they are. A big part of making this thing believable is consistency, so we gon' try to be as consistiest as possible.

First Rule of Fight Club...

Obviously, don't go around announcing that this is a troll account to each and every person you meet! Always deny it on a public thread, comment, message, etc. Tim takes great offense to people thinking he's not original. You can totally admit it if someone PMs about it, though; there's a message explaining all about this at the very bottom of the message board. People are going to figure it out, but we don't have to help them (I'm also kinda curious to see who can guess/is willing to stalk down deep enough to find this, lol).

"'Neckbeard' is a Slur."

Believe it or not, Tim isn't a neckbeard, though with a few extra pounds and a fedora, he'd be close to becoming one. Think of Tim as less of "hon, hon, hon, m'lady" and more of that sad lonely kid from high school who stays in his basement and draws bad pictures of guns. He's not going to go on a rampage over "Damn SJWs" or argue that sexual assault is the victim's fault. He is, however, ignorant and entitled and generally a gross human. He's a proto-neckbeard who is still growing into his terrible personality and trench coat.

Tim is Mean (With a Purpose)

There's no denying Tim is a combative prick, but he doesn't start fights, at least in his mind. Instead, he's super easily-offended and will overreact like heck in the face of any supposed threat. Use the thesaurus for fun synonyms for "ignorant" if you get stuck on what to call people. That being said, Tim never swears ("hell" and "damn" is about as bad as it gets). Also try not to totally tear into people who don't know this is fake af. Wouldn't want to actually hurt any feelings!!! Going after people who know about this and are chill with "fighting" with Tim are 100% fair game, so grab your insult dictionaries and prepare to lose a fight. Oh, that's another thing: Tim always loses. We can't let this clown win, guys. It happened once with Trump and we can't let history repeat itself.

Grammar Sucks but We Need It

Tim is an ignorant fool, but he at least has decent grammar and spelling unless he's super upset. His grammar, spelling, and diction should all be clean (and preferably overly-complicated) because he's just soooo educated. Some weird quirks that I'm trying to keep consistent: he always misspells "truly" as "truely," he almost never uses hyphens between words ("well-written" would be "well written" with no hyphen), he tends to trail off his sentences in ellipses, he uses CAPS LOCK when he's ANGRY or to emphasize (never italics; he hasn't figured those out yet), he uses multiple exclamation points/question marks when he's mad or frustrated, and Lavender is misspelled as Lavendar like half the time. If he's typing very quickly or is angry, more typos will show up. Use big words for no reason and let your sentences trail off, and you're adequate to continue...

Tim is a Bad Person, But Not, like, the Worst Person

Tim sucks, obviously. It's why he's so fun! But while he's totally super sexist, racist, homophobic, and probably everything else that is bad about people, he's not very up-front about it. So while he might write about women as nothing more than sex objects, he's never going to go on a big public rant about how women should stay in the kitchen. Or maybe he'll quietly talk about how all his heroes are pale as paper but the villains have darker skin, but he'll deny ever being racist. Does that make sense? If he's accused of being a dick, he'll try to turn it around on the accuser and play the victim or yell at them for not understanding. Be ~subtle~ because irl we aren't usually so lucky to have people list off their most harmful beliefs. We just have to slowly learn on our own.

Tim is a Joke!

Tim is supposed to be comic relief first and foremost. He tries and fails to post gifs in the threads, and throws a temper tantrum. He writes horrible stories but insists that they're amazing. He claims to be brave but tbh is a bigger coward that Xenoclea, who is afraid of hot oil from popcorn machines. Make him ridiculous, make him hilariously bad at everything he claims to be good at, make him so pathetic you feel bad for him (before you remember he's a dick of massive proportions and decide to enjoy his failures). People are supposed to have fun teasing him. You should have fun too! Enjoy pulling the strings behind this idiotic puppet.

For Nowsies, Leave the Book Writing to Me (Please)

I'm going to try to focus on the fantasy for right now (kind of because I want to see if I can get it on a hot list, lol), so try to keep the other stories to a minimum. If you want to discuss Tim's other projects on the message board or Cafe, please do, but don't actually write them!

Have Fun!!!

While you shouldn't do anything too obvious, take this account and run with it. Write passive-aggressive poems. Start fights "defending your honor" with everyone. Use ridiculously long insults. But hey, we're totally going to be shut down eventually, so for now, let's party.

Tim Tidbits

Ew, that sounded gross XD Anyway, here are some facts about "Tim" to make playing him a little more realistic!

Tim is white with brown hair and blue eyes, just like his main character Tethran (oh what a shocking coincidence). He's scrawny and shorter than the male average and hates it. He's also pimply af, wears gross clothes, and never does anything with his hair. He's seventeen and a senior in high school. Totally based off of estranged ex-friends of mine.

His school is small since he lives in a small town, and he knows everyone there. He has one "friend" who is also his cousin; everyone else in school is creeped out by him. This includes Alyssa, his redheaded classsmate Lavendar is 100% based on. He thinks he's in love with her, but she's lowkey freaked out about him because he can't converse like a normal human. Obviously, he's never had a girlfriend, a date, or first kiss. He will deny this and claims he's slept with dozens of women, but the only action he's ever gotten is from his hand. He did once have a "relationship" with some girl online, but it didn't end up working. He considers this his first big heartbreak.

He has a mother, father, and younger brother. His family is fairly stable. The dad works and the mom stays home. She dotes on him and constantly tells him how special he is, which probably led to him being such a... well, a Tim. His dream woman is exactly like his mother: soft-spoken, domestic, and devoted to him, but with red hair and huge boobs. He hates his little brother, who he thinks takes attention away from him. His dad is distant, and Tim lowkey resents him for it. However, he wants to be a father himself and have many sons.

Tim reads fantasy and watches fantasy anime. LotR is his favorite book series, and he wants to be like Tolkein when he grows up. His mom doesn't let him play video games, so he doesn't have any of those. In his free time, he draws (terrible) pictures of knights and his characters. He rarely goes out of the house, and is generally ignorant about current events. Wattpad is the only social media he is allowed to have.

Uhhhh that's all I can think of for now but I'll prolly add more