Brave

Confession

Salutations, Wattpad. It has been my consummate jouissance to engage with you, my splendid compatriots, in a game that can only be described as the most unparalleled, captivating, and enjoyable farce in which I have ever partaken, and for that, my winsome fellows, I thank you kindly and with much gratitude.

Ugh. Do you know how annoying it is to have to find synonyms for all these words so you can write like the complete arse you're trying to portray? It's exhausting, really.

Hey, guys. This is Xenoclea, loser extraordinaire. If you're wondering why the heck I'm writing a book on the late and not-so-great Timothy Fortes's profile, you're a little out of the loop: Tim's a joke, m'dudes. I don't consider him a troll, exactly, because my goal with him was never to make people angry, only to make them laugh at this pompous buffoon who thinks he can write but really, really can't. And believe it or not, I'm proud of Tim, at least for the beginning part, because that was really fun. I loved watching people mock his terrible stories (which I cringed to write and to read), throw shade about his condescending personality on the threads, and shout "I knew it!!!" triumphantly when they finally discovered, yeah, he's as nonexistent as my hope for the future.

But this is a confession, not a book full of gloating about all the fun I had (I'm not really Tim, you guys), and I must confess that I made a few huge mistakes. Not making it super clear from the beginning that Tim was a parody was my first, because it's not satire if no one thinks you're joking. Letting this get out of my control was the second, because I know this account was used to hurt some people. Not shutting it down earlier was my third, and hopefully my last. After this book is published, Tim will be nothing but a dead account, and this book nothing but a monument to my failures and your guys's general awesomeness.

I'm taking my favorite comments, quotes, moments, etc. (all screenshotted for posterity) and putting them here, because any and all of the trash books Tim (or whoever was behind him at that moment) wrote are gone forever. Hopefully you'll forget them sooner rather than later.

Oh! One more thing! Even though my idea of a harmless joke account got twisted into a hate-spewing racist puppet, I'd like to apologize. That anyone got hurt is my, Xenoclea's, fault, and no one else's, because I'm the one who started this. And even though I had a crazy amount of fun in the beginning and I know you guys did too, I'm sorry that I ever made Tim. All the fun in the world isn't worth it if someone gets hurt in real life. I am so, so, so sorry.