Spring Maiden (New Book)

Only Doom

That night she looked out from her window as she had that afternoon, and once again the kingdom slept, leaving her in a state of aloneness.

She stared blankly into the dark. The joyfulness and hope she felt earlier had slowly evaporated throughout the eve, and so as before she felt only a sense of doom. Her prospects of leaving Camelot had all but disappeared over the eve and with it Lancelot's affections.

Well, I have held his heart in my hands for so long. It was inevitable he would one day take it back and move yonder.

She glanced sideways at the open glass pane and caught sight of her reflection. She stood in her white nightgown and her hair was now unbraided, hanging in glorious tight waves, shaped this way by her ribbons. She looked out again, and up at the moon. It was near full. In the clear Westcountry skies, she could see every lump and crevice on its white luminous face. It looked so close that she could escape into it....

Oh, why has he turned from me? And why now when I had decided finally to give myself completely to him?

She placed her hands on the window sill and let out a sigh, leaning forwards. She could not even see the ground in the dark. It might not be so terrifying. She would not see anything and would just feel the stone for a split second as her body connected with it. That way she would free Arthur... and herself. And Lancelot, well, he may have cut his ties with her already. She felt tears well up in her eyes again.

"Guinevere?"

Her body froze and she turned her head, her eyes widening as she saw him standing there in the candlelight.

He moved over to her quickly. "Why you are crying," he said, frowning and then looking out of the open window. "Lady, why do you have the window open like this, on a winter's night?"

Guinevere opened her mouth to speak, but all that came were tears.

"Why Guin, what's this? You seemed fine at supper. I watched you," he said, placing a hand on her arm as she wept.

"No you didn't," she cried, drawing her long sleeves up into her hands and burying her face in them.

There was silence and she felt his hands stroking her arms. She was used to his touch but tonight she couldn't read the emotions behind it. Is it love or simply pity?

After some time, she wiped her face and stared up at him. "Why are you here?" she whispered.

He sighed and lifted out his hand, clutching at the wooden latch of the window pane and drawing it closed.

"Well?"

"I am not sure myself," he replied, pushing a loose strand of golden hair behind his ear.

"I see," she said now staring at his chest. He had changed from his battle-wear now and wore a simple brown shirt.

"Alright, I had something I wanted to say to you. I thought it best we talk, rather than mind-read one another's thoughts across court," he said eventually.

Guin nodded. "Well, I had wanted to speak with you also," she said, "if I am honest with you, I couldn't wait for you to return."

"Guin..." he said, trailing off.

"What has changed?" she demanded, hoarsely. "Have you met someone else?"

"Not yet," he said.