Finding it

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IMPORTANT:

01 . 31 . 18
i recommend all people who like this story must read this
idk when i'll update. my life is hard right now, guys sorry.
-my parents are being really strict with me.
-im not allowed to hang out with my friends
-im about to be on a progress report, and that just hurts my pride.
-i have my phone taken away.
^^^ all bc i have one 'C+' grade in a class, and it is supposed to be a B, but my teacher isn't fixing it.
***point being:
i am not updating until im alright emotionally with all the pressure and pain my parents are inflicting on me, i am not updating until i feel like i actually have a place where my family cares, because i am trying my best. i am not updating until i am just happy again. i want to be as honest as possible to anyone following me or reading my stories, so i do mean it when i say i am not in a "happy" place right now, and i havent been in a while.
im sorry and i really do apologize for this, i know i shouldnt get you guys( who i dont even really know) so much insight of my life, but i feel like i should be honest with you. if im not updating a story that so many of you guys like, i feel i should at least explain myself.
((who are you and why are u still reading this shat)) so, all and all, im sorry. im sorry im not in a good place right now, im sorry i lowkey have you guys in this issue of mine, im sorry im not updating. im sorry im a peice of shit. im sorry.

ever yours, 
-jzmn-

03 . 04 . 18
 the first time i wrote on wattpad, i only had a pretty small idea of a story that i just wanted to see where it would end up. as time went on i got more engrossed in the contrast and plot and depth of how i was able to communicate and express through writing, whether it be personal, fictional, or just an idea for a small snip-it of something i thought would be cool— and so i wrote more, and then the more i wrote, the more i fell in love with writing. i remember the first time i got a read and i thought it was a mistake but then more and more kept coming, and then people started commenting and i realized, it wasn't a mistake...people actually liked what i had to put out into wattpad! i fell in love once more and this time, it wasn't just for my sake to keep on writing, but for the enjoyment of others. so many times i got people telling me that they loved a chapter, or the whole story or that it was their second time reading my book, and i just wanted— and still want!—to make all readers really happy. if my writing helps me express whatever it may be that i want to express, then i will have a good day. its really when my writing helps put smiles, and uplifting, explicit emotions on the faces of others, does my day go from 'good' to a five star, 10/10, over the top amazing day. and wattpad is a place where i can do that. wattpad is a place where i've met so many kind people and where i've made so many friends. 
during my break, i've lost friends, i've cried, i've felt like a faliure, i've felt alone, but i never stopped checking in. i've read eveything that you guys have commented and i just want to say thank you. yes, i believe things will get better, and although not everything has gotten better yet, i still believe, and i will continue to believe as long as i have amazing friends and readers like you guys so thank you. 
***point being...i guess im coming back, but hey, my updates will still be more inconsistent than ever. 

every yours,
-jzmn-
💜