I Miss You, Asshole.

I Miss You, Asshole. - Realization.

How could he?

It felt like hours before all the shrieks and sobs stopped. We were still in our same position, and I was wiping at my eyes furiously.

You have no idea how much I became broken that day. After giving up my virginity, the next day he's on another girl. Can you see how fucked up that is? How fucked up my life has just become? All because of Logan and his dumb, fucked up actions.

"You should go," Addy said. Her tone sounded so uncaring, so 'gtfo biotch.'

I looked to Logan for what he had to say.

"You should go," He repeated. I flinched at his tone.

Slowly, I sat up and used the bed to stand. When I stood, I snatched my hand up from the bedsheets. They were infected with two asshole's stupidity.

Their eyes don't leave my backside until I'm completely out the room. With one last look to Logan, I left.

When I slowly walked back to my house, my whole body went weak from the realization. The realization that Logan isn't the same Logan who said he loved me. He didn't love me. He loved sex. How did this shit happen to me?

Why did this shit happen to me?

I collapsed on the cold sidewalk. Well, not really. I kind of just fell on my knees, twisted into a ball, and cried silently.  My eyes were swollen when tears didn't want to come anymore. I waited. Waited for Logan to come back out, wrap me in his arms, and tell me he loved me.

I heard pounding footsteps that made me wince.

"Hazel!?"

It was Josh. The Josh I befriended - kind of. We weren't exactly brother-sister love, but he was there for a good laugh.

Big, strong hands gripped my torso and lifted me up. It was weird how easily he picked me up. I did feel like a toothpick. All the tears have been stained onto my cheeks.

"Hazel, what happened to you?"

He raised me to my feet. I had to latch onto him to keep from falling again. My legs weren't in the mood today. Hell, I wasn't in the damn mood. He shot me a concerned look, noticed my tears, and hugged me.

A hug never felt so surreal in my whole life. Other than Quinn's spur of the moment hugs, this was the only genuine hug I've received in forever. It left me warm and less weak.

"What happened?" he whispered.

"Logan." I choked. My voice sounded so raw and scratchy. All the screaming and crying left my vocal chords bad as well.

"What did he do to you?" he urged.

I meet his eyes for the first time in ages. His eyes are speckled green on hazel in wonder. He really cared. He really wanted to know.

"He cheated." I winced. "With Addy." I bit my lip and chewed the skin to keep from breaking down.

"The bastard." Josh mumbled. He caught my eye, bit his lip nervously, and continued. "This is really bad."

"As if anything could get worse." I laughed humorlessly.

"No Hazel," He glanced at the house and looked back to me. "I have to tell you something...away from here." 

I sighed. My life couldn't get any better, so I follow him back to my house. No one's home still, so I invite him in.

"Nice house." Josh sat on the edge of the couch. "Much cleaner than Quinn's."

I sit next to him hesitantly. He's quietly roaming the room while I slouch in my spot. I wanted to curl up in my bed, but the sheets were stained from last night.

Plus, Logan left his jacket over.

I don't bother to remind Josh why he's here. He seems to realize it when I just stare into space.

"Oh!" I snap out of my thoughts, and tune into Josh rambling. "There's some things you don't know about Logan."

"Obviously."

"...not just cheating. You see, in 9th grade, Me, Quinn, Aiden, and Logan made this pact."

I sat up in interest.

"A pact that said we'd never get whipped. It was really stupid when I think back on it. But we were in rebellion of Quinn's ex-girlfriend cheating on him. We said, 'have sex with girls, but don't fall in love.' No one really stuck with the rule but Logan. It became a goal for him every year. You so happened to be the victim."

The story made me shake with sadness. I can't cry anymore, but my heart twisted in pain.

"I'm really sorry this happened to you, of all people." Josh took my hands again.

Mine were cold and limp in his long, warm hands. Warm comfort never felt so good. Not after last night, the warmth never hit me better.

"Are you...are you alright?"

Josh was caring, sweet, and nice to me for the past hour. My arms find his back, and I pull myself into his embrace. He snuggled his warm face into my cold neck.

Soon, we were both warm and content.

My body still ached from the crying, but a hug was everything. Josh gave good hugs. The only reason we break contact is Evan walking in.

"A new boyfriend already?" he asked sleepily.

I can only manage a small smile. A very small smile. "This is Josh. Evan, Josh."

"Hi." He sighs tiredly. "Who are you?"

"Logan's friend." Josh still had his hands on my waist. I move away, get up, and hug my brother. Hugs were the only thing that could keep me from slipping into depression.

Evan rubs my back soothing and whispers comforting words in my ear. "Every little thing..is gonna be alright." He sings before letting me go.

"How was work?" I asked, my voice still scratchy.

"Long," Evan replied. "I was lucky enough to get off early."

"Where do you work, man?" Josh got up and joined us at the front door.

"McDonalds, night shift." He sighs. "I hate being the cashier."

After he left downstairs for a nap, Josh grinned down at me. The story from earlier still weighed me down, but another Josh hug left me smiling bigger. Not huge big, but a regular little smile.

"I'm gonna go." He smiled. "You need time alone."

"Okay," I walk him outside and give him a kiss on the cheek. "Thank you, Josh. I really appreciated...this."

"Anytime."

He left with a happy smile and I closed the door will a small smile.

That is until I walked into my room. My heart dropped and the hairs on my body stood on end. My blankets were all over the place - the floor, under the bed, and tucked into random areas of the bed.

I bunched up the covers and distributed them in the washing machine wordlessly.

I manage to clean up my room without crying. My room is clean in a matter of minutes. The only thing left was the neglected black sweatshirt lying under my dresser.