Baby Steps {TNS}

Three

"I need you now"

December 31

Richelle

"You okay, babe?" Noah asks, briefly taking his eyes off of the road to look at me. I'm sat in the passenger seat of his car on the way to the studio for a New Year's Eve party and I haven't said a word the whole journey, hence why Noah is concerned. I've been feeling fairly ill for the past week, but I haven't let Noah know that as I didn't want him to worry about me, which, evidently, was pointless.

"Yeah, I'm fine," I lie, my voice monotonous as I focus on the road out in front of me, resisting the urge to throw up. Noah sighs but doesn't argue it, knowing that I'll deny any possibility of being sick so that I can go to the party. I let out a small sigh myself as we pull up to the studio.

"Rich, are you sure you're okay?" Noah asks again, taking in the sight of me. There's a look of discomfort on my face as I try to control my nausea and my skin has been drained of its natural colour, a clear sign that something's not right.

"I'm fine, Noah," I mumble in response, annoyance thick in my voice. "Richelle," Noah persists, "I've known you since before I could remember, I know something's wro-"

"Noah I'm fine!" I snap, interrupting him. He seems taken aback by my reaction, and I feel a tug at one of my heart strings causing me to wince. "Look, I'm sorry for snapping. But I'm fine so stop worrying," I say softly, with a hint of anger still managing to linger in my tone. Knowing that we're already late, I waste no time in unbuckling my seatbelt and stepping out of Noah's car, rushing into the studio to join A-Troupe in celebration.

                                 ~•~

It's now 11:30, and the party is starting to settle as we wait for the new year to arrive. Everyone's huddled around the TV watching the live broadcast from Nathan Phillips Square, eagerly waiting on the fireworks due to start as the clock strikes midnight. We're all covered in blankets, with snacks spread amongst the group.

My nausea seems to have disappeared, though I'm incredibly tired. I've tried to keep Noah off my back, but he's been constantly watching me all night, checking I'm alright. I mean, it's nice that he cares but it just got on my nerves. I don't even know why I'm mad at him, it not like he did anything wrong. I just... I don't know.

A short while later, A-Troupe continues to talk amongst ourselves, impatiently waiting for 2018 to begin. There's 15 minutes until the clock strikes midnight and everyone's bustling with excitement, constantly checking the time. Everyone, that is, except me. My nausea has returned, and it's becoming increasingly difficult to keep it down as each second passes. Eventually, the urge becomes too strong, causing me to sprint out of Studio A to the bathroom, leaving behind a confused A-Troupe.

I make it to the bathroom just in time, clinging to the toilet bowl as I empty the contents of my stomach. My nausea fades fast as I avoided eating as much as possible tonight, knowing that this would be the result. I let out a sigh, shifting my limp body to rest against the wall. I sit there for a moment, breathing deeply and collecting my thoughts.

How did I get this sick? How did I let myself get this sick? And why haven't I gone to a doctor yet? Why did it take me this long to realise that something serious could be wrong with me?

A million more questions run through my mind as I sit on the bathroom floor before my train of thought gets interrupted by the faint sound of a voice echoing throughout the studio, calling my name. Noah. He's probably freaking out at this point. As his voice gets louder I can hear the worry laced in his words.

"Richelle! Richelle! Where are you?" he calls, and I can tell he's basically right outside the door. "In here," I croak, my voice a mere whisper, and I can only hope he was able to hear me. The door bursts open then and Noah appears in the doorway. His eyes widen in shock as he sees me: curled into a ball on the floor, my hair messy from running my hand through the golden strands, tears I hadn't noticed slowly dropping down my cheeks.

"Oh, baby," Noah whispers, joining me on the floor of the girls bathroom. I rest my head on his chest as he envelopes me in hug, providing the comfort I desperately needed. I let another silent tear fall, leaving a mark on his light grey shirt.

"Richelle," he whispers, tilting my head up with his fingers, forcing me look at him, "talk to me." I try to look down, avoiding him, but I fail miserably. He tilts my head up again, meeting his eyes with mine. His eyes plead with me, begging me to tell him what's wrong. I sigh, knowing that there's no way I can't tell him.

"I- I, um..." I stutter, not wanting to admit that I'm sick - neither to me nor him. He gives me a gentle nod: a silent way of saying trust him. I breathe deeply, before continuing. "I've been sick for the past week. On and off. At first, I thought I had just eaten some bad food. I mean, it was Christmas. I thought something I had eaten just wasn't settling, but it persisted. I'm only nauseous, though, so I've tried to just shrug it off I guess. Not really thinking of it as anything except bad food or something. Until now." I sigh, realising that once it's said out loud, it's not as normal as I had thought.

"I don't really think it's nothing Richelle," he responds, the tiniest hint of laughter in his voice in an attempt to lighten the mood. "but why didn't you tell me?"

"I didn't want you to worry. And I guess I didn't want to admit to myself that I was sick," I whisper, a slight crack in voice at the end. "I'm sorry."

"You don't have to be sorry, doll," Noah says, lightly pressing his lips against my forehead. A small smile tugs at the corners of my lips at his gesture; a gesture he knows makes me feel better. I reposition my body so that I can rest my head on his shoulder. He places his head on top of mine, and we sit like this for a while, silently enjoying each other's company.

"N, what's the time?" I ask, realising we've more than likely missed the start of the new year. Noah takes his phone out of his pocket, turning it on. I smile briefly at his lock screen - a photo of us from regionals, doing a lift in our final routine - but divert my attention to the time. 12:19. "You know, I didn't exactly plan on ringing in the new year sitting on a bath room floor," I giggle, back to my usual self as my nausea has soothed. Noah chuckles at my comment, humming in agreement.

"We should probably get back to the party," he suggests, preparing to stand up. "Wait," I say, holding his arm to stop him from moving, "can we stay here for a little longer? I just want to spend some more time with you. I need to spend some time with you; I need you, N."

"Of course we can, baby girl," he replies, settling back into a comfortable position. He pulls me onto his lap, holding me close as I rest my head in the crook of his neck. A smile appears on my lips as I wrap my arms around Noah's torso, enjoying his embrace.

"I love you," I whisper, moving my head slightly to kiss him on the cheek before returning to my position.

"I love you, too," he mumbles into my hairline, kissing my forehead once again. I snuggle further into his chest as his arms tighten around my tiny frame, relishing in the comfort his very presence provides me with; a feeling much like home.

Finally got you guys an update! I had a completely different chapter written but then decided I didn't like it, so I ended up with this.

Alsoooo, who else is keen af for the release of Briar's song?! Can't wait to hear it in full :)

Love you guys,
T x