cigarettes in the theatre; {m.y}

[ s e v e n ]

{no-eul}

As the boy spoke I immediately became flustered. He was right, how undignified of me to smoke a cigarette in such a public place.

"Ye-yes, I apologise, i'll put it out now." I stuttered.

I burnt out the cigarette on the back of the packet and looked down slightly.

He continued scanning me, an unreadable look in his eye.

"Hm, okay, it's okay."

I nodded lightly not wanting to disturb anybody else watching the film, again turning away from his face awkwardly.

I could feel my awkwardness seething slowly into the silence, I always hated how readable my emotions were.

Every now and then from my peripheral vision i'd see the boy with the blue hair would give me a shy glance, as if it were reassurance.

It was odd.

I wouldn't dare face him once. I was simply ashamed, but it seemed rude as he kept facing me.

I wanted this movie to end. Oh lord please, please I beg let those measly credits roll.

Why did anime films have to be so goddamn long?

Who knew, i'd let my anxiety drive me round the bend again and let my addiction publicly ridicule me. I was embarrassed, to say the least.

I faced my head down, my hands resting on my face, smothering my sight.

"Are you okay?" the blue-haired boy beside me asks, concern lacing his tone.

In a split second, my hearing becomes unclear, my sight blurs, and my breathing becomes hoarse, chest constricting itself.

Not now, not now, now! I mentally scream to myself, putting in copious amounts of effort to stop my brain from ringing, however, it just worsens.

A panic attack.

My silent yet uncontrollable sobs become apparent to the boy, all I
can think about is how to run away, how to move when my legs feel numb, how to move when i cant even breathe, how to move when i'm chaos.

I can hear the sound of his quiet voice, only now its muffled. Faintly, I hear him telling me to breathe and relax, and that it'll be over soon. He turns towards me, placing a hand on my back, gently rubbing it. He tells me 'i'm doing great', and whispers words of simple comfort. The sound of my sobs subside, my breathing reaches a more normal pace, and I turn to face him, grabbing his hand tightly, desperate.

"Please, hold my hand, and help me walk out of here."

He nods, holding my hand cautiously, and offering my back support as he walks me down the cinemas stairs.

I sigh in relief, thanking the universe that it was a dark place. Nobody else seemed to notice.