I'm Not Complaining That It's Raining (sequel to Aventures)

11- Everything Goes According To Plan

"Ben and Jerry's is still my favorite. How could you hate something so beautiful, uh?"

Brendon took a spoonful of what he called 'heaven in a tube' and moaned in pleasure.

"I swear. Heaven."

I smiled and just looked at him. Even when he was stuffing his face with his stupid ice cream, he was so beautiful. It's not the word I usually use for men, but Hell. He was beautiful. Not handsome. Not hot.

Fucking beautiful.

And I was always fascinated by this man. I mean, he was the first one I'd truly been in love with, the only one who made me feel like he did. And the fact that he was so freaking perfect and that he still accepted to be called Ross always puzzled me. I never understood how such an amazing, beautiful, talented human being could be attracted to a simple, quiet, average-looking guy like me.

Really, I didn't get it.

"You should try it. Cookie dough is the best flavour."

"I'll pass," I smiled. "Plus I don't think you'd be able to leave some for me."

"Good point. Anyway, your loss."

I smiled a little more. "What are you smiling at, Ross?"

"You."

"Well, I figured. Considering you've been staring at me for a while now. But what about me makes you smile?"

I shrugged. "You."

He grinned. "Thanks, I guess. I kind of love making you smile."

I just looked away, blushing slightly.

"Look, Ryan. There a few things we need to talk about. All this little dinner thing was really sweet but... We need to talk some things out."

"I know. I... Okay. Go ahead."

He sighed, putting the ice cream on the table. "Look... I think... I think Fighting's a masterpiece. I think it's a beautiful song. And... And, don't get me wrong, I'm extremely happy with you and... And everything, but... But I've always wanted to have children. And... I really can't see my life without kids. And I want to have a family. With you."

I sighed. "I know you want that song on the album, it's just... It's too personal. I can't... I didn't write this song for an album. It was just... It was meant to be forgotten in a closet somewhere or something like that. And... I'm going to be completely honest with you, this family thing..." I paused. "It scares the living shit out of me. I want you to be happy, I'm willing to do anything in order to make you a happy man, but I can't do this. At least not now. With the band and-and... Look, I'm just terrified. Completely, absolutely scared out of my mind. I know I'd be an horrible dad. Just as bad as mine."

Brendon frowned. "Oh, Ryan... I think... I think I have an idea. Yeah?"

I looked up at him and gave him a confused look.

"Okay. So... We have a tour coming, right? So I think we should... Maybe we could wait until the tour's done before talking more seriously about this adopting thing. And... About Fighting, maybe we could make it a Bonus track or something. No single, no official track, just a bonus. So people actually have to pay to get it. What do you think?"

I thought for a few seconds. Maybe it could work. Maybe after this tour we could take a year off. Maybe we could make this happen. Maybe I wouldn't be such a coward for once.

But I'd be an horrible father. Just like mine was. I would end up running away. I didn't want to hurt Brendon, I didn't want to be like my father, I wasn't George Ross III.

I was Ryan. Just Ryan.

Brendon grabbed my hand and squeezed it a little. "Are you okay?"

I looked at him and smiled weakly. "Yeah. Just a little lost in my thoughts. But alright. Let's just do that. After the tour, we'll talk about it."

He smiled brightly, which made me extremely happy, and kissed my cheek.

He went to stand up but stopped. "Hey, Ry?"

"Yeah?"

"You're nothing like your father. Really. And you'd be a great dad."

He smiled a little and let go off my hand, walking to the bedroom. A single tear fell from my eye and, standing up to join my husband in our bedroom, wiped it off my cheek. I cleared my throat, fixed my shirt, and walked to the room.

As I got in, his back was facing me. He was slowly unbuttoning his shirt, having no clue I was in the room. I leaned against the doorframe and just admired him. His muscular-ish shoulders, his adorable ass back dimples, his arms stretching, pretty much everything about this man was absolutely perfect.

I smiled to myself and walked slowly to join him. I put my arms around his chest and burried my face in his neck.

"Hey," he said softly.

"Hey."

"I love you Ryan. No matter what, I'll always love you."

I smiled softly and just pecked his cheek. "C'mon. Let's just go to bed."

And so we did.

...

(A.N.: holla. Hey, look, suuuuuper long chapter for you guys. I'm sorry I can't update often enough, really. I hope this was worth the wait Ö okay so... Announcement time?

Alrighty.

Okay so, I think I mentioned in in my last chapter, but I am writing new fictions! yay! okay so, I know for a fact that early in the summer, I'll be posting one, and I'll post another when school starts. Just cause. I'm really excited about these fics, they should be pretty cool. Yay! okay, so... I think I'm done. Bye?)