The Search Of Cristian ✔

Epilogue - Patience is a virtue

If I wouldn't be taken, I would definitely trail my lips over that hot body.

"I'll pick "em up right now and shower while you bake me an egg for breakfast."

That causes him to spin around and frown towards me.

All it takes is a pout and some blinking with my eyes, before he lolls his head backwards. "Fine. I'll bake some eggs... ifyou manage to get your meds and get home again before I'm done with my shower."

"That's not fair, because you can shower in five minutes if you want and the pharmacy is 5 minutes by car single trip alone."

"Well, guess you'll have to make your own breakfast."

"You suck."

"And I'm very good at it too." He winks, before he disappears towards the bathroom. I let myself fall back at the bed, covering my face with both my hands, taking a second to take in the moment.

I take in a couple of deep breaths, before I scoot back towards the foot end of the bed to get out. My morning ritual has been the same for a couple of months now. I get up, I take meds, and I only eat breakfast whenever there's something easy to eat, or someone else is making me breakfast. I shower and get dressed, mostly either to go to school, or work. When I don't have to go out, I'll wear my comfortable clothes that won't bother me when I spend hours on the couch doing nothing.

Things are a mess right now, and half the time I can't find the energy to really do anything. And I'm not the only one struggling through life.

Jason was fired because he kept oversleeping to go to work, at one in the afternoon, while Liam even decided to drop out of school for the year, now working in the garage that Stan's father owns.

Last week, Alex was admitted to a psychiatric ward since he practically lost his mind. I think it has to do with the fact they so far failed to find Finnley, or Jeffrey for that matter.

According to Sam, Alex simply never recovered from two years ago and it was only a matter of time for Alex to lose it.

And then there's me. I've been diagnosed with depression, which isn't weird since the love of my life is missing and they haven't been able to find him, Jeffrey or the Phantom. They're not even close to solving the case and since it's been two months, the squad searching for him decreased again. There's an international alert, which means if he ever shows up in a hospital or encounters law enforcements, they'll be notified that he's a missing person when they run him through the system.

It's cruel to hope he'll get sick or injured bad enough to get admitted in hospital.

And I now know what Finnley meant when he told me every breath was a battle on its own, or that he had trouble to work on a bright future because he was surrounded by darkness.

It's exactly how I feel right now and the only thing that's keeping me going, is the hope that he is still alive and will come home one day.

Finnley became my only reason to live and that fact is causing a gap between me and everybody else. They understand me, they support me, but they want to see me move on with my life with the best of my ability.

I can't do that. I'm obsessed with Finnley and finding him.

Today, it's been two years.

Two years since Finnley first went missing and everything in our lives changed, for the worse.

It's also exactly two months since Finnley again went missing and I just know I have to find him, or I will break.

Tuesday January 23rd, 2018