You're Beautiful to Me. (A Demi Lovato Fan Fiction) *Paused*

Chapter 14.

Paige’s POV

I wake with a sweat and realise that I’ve had another bad dream. Ashley was in it this time. It’s dark so I grope around the bed to find it empty; where’s Demi? My head feels a little woozy as I sit up and pull the covers off me. Then it dawns on me. I don’t know how I got here. All I remember is Demi and Marissa leaving me; giving me the perfect opportunity to purge in the restaurant. After that, I have no idea what happened. As I stand up from the bed, I have this overwhelming urge to cut. Demi isn’t around, so I might as well make the most of it. I grope around in the dark and manage to find the door handle. As I step out on the landing, I hear the TV playing downstairs. Great; noise to disguise any sounds I make. I head next door, being careful not to trod on anything. I turn on the light in the bathroom and lock the door behind me. Walking over to the sink, I grab my bag and take out the blade that I cut myself on last night. Obviously Demi will check my wrists so I go for somewhere a little less obvious. As I lift my sweater up, my demons return to war with myself. 

'Do it, nobody cares anyway.'

'What about Demi? You don’t want to let her down.'

'What’s stopping you? Demi’s not here so there’s nobody to stop you. She’ll leave you eventually anyway.'

'Don’t do it Paige!'

This happens a lot. One part of me really doesn’t want me to hurt myself, while the other part seems to have no problem with it. This time my bad side wins. It’s true; Demi won’t stick around forever. She'll get bored eventually.

I take the blade and swipe it across my hips. Hopefully, nobody will check here. I do it a few times and enjoy the sense of release I’m getting from it. After a while, I start to feel faint so I grab a band-aid from the cupboard and stick it to my cuts.

Before heading back to the room, I splash my face with cold water a few times and then dry myself with a towel.

“Wake up Paigey” I hear somebody say from above me.

I open my eyes to see Demi leaning over me. Seeing her face makes me smile; a real smile, not one that’s fake.

“Hey.” I say, yawning and stretching my arms out.

Hopefully, she won’t bring up last night, but knowing Demi, she will.

“Babe, you okay?” Demi asks, climbing into bed next to me.

She’s wearing an oversized t-shirt, sweatpants and her hair is in a bun.

“Yeah, I guess so.” I reply, shuffling over to her in the bed.

“Can we talk?” Demi asks, wrapping her arm around me. I snuggle into her side and take in her warm embrace. 

“Yeah okay.” 

“I think we need to discuss last night. What happened?” I knew she’d bring it up.

“Dem, I couldn’t do it. I couldn’t eat all that food. To you and Marissa it may not look like much, but to me it was huge.”

“I know babe, I understand, I’ve been through it. Next time, talk to me about it. I know it’s not going to be easy, but I want to help you recover. Princess, I really do. You may think that you’re just another Lovatic, but to me, you’re so much more and I’m going to help you.”

Her little speech brings tears to my eyes, and my vision starts to blur. 

“I-I know, but it’s hard.” By the end of the sentence, my voice has started to falter. 

“I’m here for you Paige. Just talk to me.” Demi whispers, pulling me in even closer.

I cling to her shirt and I can feel her play with my hair. By the second, I feel more and more guilty for last night’s relapse. Demi trusts me to talk to her, and last night I let her down.