Kinda-Comedian.

A Brief Overview part 3.

        Jackie started to distance herself. She was upset over leaving her family in Japan, and although she is the most emotionally solid person I know, she was obviously having a tough time with it, leaving me alone quite often. I was depressed, big-time. After past events in my life, kinda friendless, and feeling like I didn't have my shit together, stressed me out beyond belief. I started to compulsively lie about my life to cover up how I was feeling, and my parents all had a "suck it up" attitude. I was pissed at my friends, family, my life, and most of all, myself. I honestly wanted to die. And that only made me hate myslef more, because I always got annoyed by girls who are like " ugh, I have the worst life, I'm gonna cut myself." I didn't really cut myself, but I scratched my arms a lot, making them red and swollen. Many of the girls at my school grew to be very mean to me,and it really made me angry. I was depressed, angry, and frustrated. I didn't know what I wanted to do with my life, and others seemed to have it together. I was dreading growing up, and I really made a fuss over nothing, crying at the drop of a hat. My step-dad, who I now liked, would argue with me over everything. I felt like he loved my sister, but I was an embarrassment. I moved into the basement of my house, wanting to avoid everyone. I threw tantrums, got in trouble, and started to stop caring. Everyone in my life made me feel hopeless, desperate, and ready to leave my life. I was very angry about the cards I'd been dealt. I just stopped doing homework, zoned out in class, and talked back to teachers just because I wanted to. It was a terrible way to go through life. After a long, hard year, summer started. I decided to forget about hanging out with friends, and hang out with myself. My mom let me stay home alone everyday, and it gave me time to think, pursue hobbies, figure out who I was. I decided to really focus on things like politics and religion, because even if my friends left me, I'd have my personality. I found I that I love to write. I became a whole lot smarter over that summer, and it really effected me. I discovered myself a bit. When I started 8th grade I was doing great. Over the course of the year it only improved. My mental health stability peaked in about March of this year I would say. I had a lot of stress in April due to funding my trip to Washington D.C., May was a bit tough because a friend of mine was having some major mental health difficulties that hospitalized her, and June is the end of the year, which means finals. But I'm so much healthier than I was this time last year, I'm positive that this summer will be relaxing and wonderful. My last day is June 10th. My goals for this summer though is to loose 10 pounds and to start being more helpful around the house. I'm not obese nor do I have an eating disorder. I'm quite short and a bit chubby in the belly, but it's nothing major. I'm doing it for me and me only. I'm very lazy though and I feel like that can stress out my family sometimes. But yeah, that's the whole backstory, so now I'll start jumping into day by day analyzes about what happened to me that day. Probably won't get loads of reads, but it's more a way for me to vent than to gain readers. Read if you want, I'm hoping this will be like a funnier version of a diary. I just wanted to get all the gobbledygook out of the way first. Without further ado, here's my life for you. Enjoy :)