SUNSHINE, jihope. [fin.]

12; dear

oof I forgot to upload this yesterday :') sorry y'all!

Hoseok has a bad habit of falling in love too much but he’s never felt like this before.

Loving Sejun was like fire, all-consuming, driving him wild and burning him from the inside. But loving Jimin is warm. It’s secret smiles and mornings filled with laughter and an embrace that’s always there, waiting. It’s the kind of love that makes him want to do stupid things like kiss Jimin’s nose and buy a puppy together.

Jimin makes him feel like he matters. He can’t lose that.

He does it while he’s drunk—perhaps that’s his first mistake. He frequents the club less these days, especially after his night at the police station, spending the time practicing or watching movies with Jimin. But he still goes because it’s become habit. And because even though his eyes are filling with Jimin, he can’t entirely chase away the hole left by Sejun.

He wanted it to be special, the moment he confessed. Wanted it to be somewhere memorable. But his tongue is loosened from alcohol and when he comes home Jimin is curled up on the couch, wrapped in a blanket as he monitors his dance videos, and he makes Hoseok’s heart swell with such warmth he can’t help it. He plops down next to Jimin, who laughs and holds up the blanket to let him in, snuggling into his side. Jimin’s watching his phone and Hoseok’s watching Jimin—the glow of the screen dancing across his face, the intensity of his expression. Hoseok could look at him forever.

He reaches up and traces the line of Jimin’s cheekbone. Jimin barely reacts, accustomed to how touchy Hoseok gets when he’s drunk. He wraps his hand around Jimin’s jaw, strokes his cheek with his thumb. “I think I’m in love with you,” he murmurs, even though that’s not quite how he imagined saying it.

Jimin’s breath stills. For one unbearable second there is silence. Then Jimin stands so quickly the blanket falls in a heap at his feet. “That’s not funny,” he says.

“What?”

“If that’s supposed to be a joke, it isn’t funny.” His fists are clenched, cheeks flushed, chest rising with quick breaths.

Hoseok doesn’t understand. “Jimin, it’s not a joke.”

He looks at the floor instead of Hoseok. “You know I take this stuff seriously, you know how I am, how could you even say something like that—” His words are quick and laced with the beginnings of panic.

Hoseok stands, too. “I take this stuff seriously, too. Jimin, look at me—” He reaches for him but Jimin pulls away.

“Like hell you do—”

He steps toward him even as Jimin steps back. “I swear I’m not joking, I swear it, how can I convince you—”

“—even if you’re not lying you fall in love with everyone anyway, everyone who doesn’t deserve it, I’m just another one of those—”

“That’s not true—”

“—it doesn’t even matter who I am, you would have fallen in love with me anyway because that’s what you do—”

“How could you say that?” He doesn’t realize how broken he feels until he hears his own voice.

Jimin looks at him at last, and his eyes speak of finality. “You’re not even over Sejun yet. You can’t be in love with me.”

“Jimin.” His voice cracks.

Jimin spins away, grabs his shoes from beside the door. “I gotta go.”

“Don’t leave.”

He jams them onto his feet and fumbles with the doorknob.

Hoseok stumbles toward him, but Jimin is already out the door and fleeing down the hall. “Jimin, wait, just listen to me—”

Jimin doesn’t even look back.

~

SHSKDJJS JIMIN WHY DO YOU HAVE TO BE SO STUPID HHHHH