Some things never stay the same.....

Chapter 35

Well its been 9 months since I last wrote something but today I finally felt like it lol.....

Josh pov

I wake up to hear light crying and I sit up right away. I look around and see Colleen sitting in the armchair in the corner of the hotel room holding Lily. She sees me and smiles. "Sorry baby, I was trying to feed her before she woke you" she whispers. "Its ok babe. Everything ok?" I ask as she latches Lily onto her breast. "That feels better" she giggles. I smile knowing she must feel like she is going to burst. I crawl to the corner of the bed to be closer to her. I rub her knee and watch her feed our daughter. Emotions hit me and I try to hold back the tears. Watching Colleen in this moment was my dream that a year ago I wasn't so sure I would ever see. I feel her hand lay on top of mine and it brings me back to reality. "You ok?" she asks. I nod quickly and smile as I wipe my face. "This is a dream babe. I am so happy" I say as I lean into to kiss her on her lips. I pull back and kiss her nose. "I love you both so much" I say. "Love you" she whispers. We sit in silence for the rest of her feeding. We both realize this moment is incredible.

Later that morning I am cutting up fruit as I make breakfast in our hotel kitchen as Colleen showers while Lily sleeps. I hear the shower turn off as I place coffee on the two seat table. I sit down and wait for her. I hear the bathroom door open and I see her come out with her wet hair tied up and a housecoat on. She looks pale. "Babe you ok?" I ask as she slowly walks over seeing me.  She nods but it isn't convincing me. She lowers herself to her chair slowly. She winces as she sits down and mutters "sore". "Normal?" I ask watching her. "How would I know what normal is Josh? This is my first baby and my own mother hates me, so I can't ask her" she says sobbing into her hands. I walk over to her and kneel on the floor in front of her. I grab her face. "Colleen I am so sorry" I whisper kissing her face. She just keeps crying. "I want to lay down" she says as she stands. I walk her over to the bed slowly and lower her. I cover her and rub her back as she cries. "Just leave me" she says. I nod not wanting to argue. I walk out quietly and into the kitchen area again and grab my phone. I text my Mama.

"Mom, I know you are coning out to visit in a week or so but I have a question. Is it normal to be super sore and cry a lot after having a baby? I just want to make sure Colleen is ok or if its excessive. Xox"

A few minutes later my Mama texts back and says it is. She reminds me that every day should be better and its only been under a week. I smile and sigh of relief as I stare at Colleen now sleeping. She is my angel. Need to keep her safe.