the past -
the cruel words on the internet,
the cruel words in my own house,
the tears in the car,
the fear wracking me and ripping me apart
the disappointment,
the excitement,
the rejection of reed ignoring me,
of blake stepping on me,
all of it,
came to a
blank
the future -
my broken pieces that you glued together
falling back apart,
the blood of a crime
against myself
staining my hands,
my dress,
the tissue,
the heavy breathing and
sobbing and
heavy feelings of worthlessness
the laughter and pushing through and
victories,
none of it
mattered.
the present -
with your arms around me,
with the calling voices echoing
a name that i only went by for you,
the hug so tight and crushing
that i couldn't take a breath,
that i wish i could reply,
in
that
moment
the rest of the world,
the boys lined up before and after you,
the girls lined up in front of you,
distracted and curious by your
unmasked joy,
my parents, phone up and filming,
my friends, online and waiting,
the past,
the future,
all of it
ceased
to
exist.
and it was just me
and you
and the moment that i waited
two years,
within with a thousand laid,
the time ticking slowly,
ticking back faster than i expected,
the feeling that i longed for
and ached for,
was all that i knew.
in that second,
with your heartbeat echoing so close to mine,
i was sure
it was all that i
would ever know.
and it is so distant now,
that thoughtless,
carefree,
beautiful,
glorious,
happiness.
