A Perfect Happy Ending [Edd X Reader]

Aaron Burr, Sir

Caution! You, Matt, and Edd are all extremely drunk! Also, light swear. If you consider it a swear word.

Tord-Hamilton
Tom-Burr
You-Laurens
Matt-Lafayette
Edd-Mulligan

Pardon me, are you [Thomas Thompson], Sir?

That depends, who's asking?

Oh sure, Sir
I'm [Tord Lars], I'm at your service, Sir!
I have been looking for you,

I'm getting nervous-

SIR!

I heard your name at Princeton, I was seeking an accelerated course of study, when I got sort of out of sorts with a buddy of yours,
I may have punched him, it's a blur, Sir. He handles the financials?

You punched the bursar.

YES!
I wanted to do what you did,
Graduate and join the revolution.
He looked at me like I was stupid,
I'm NOT stupid,
So how'd you do it?
How'd you graduate so fast?

It was my parents dying wish before they passed.

You're an orphan! Of course!
I'm an orphan God I wish there was a war,
So we could prove that we're worth more than anyone bargained for!

Can I buy you a drink?

That would be nice,

While we're talking, let me offer you some free advice.
Talk less.

What?

Smile more.

Heh.

Don't let them know what you're against or what you're for.

You can't be serious.

You wanna get ahead?

Yes.

Fools who run their mouths off wind up, dead.

A-yo, yo, yo, yo, yo,
What time is it?

Showtime!

Like I said...

Showtime, Showtime
YO!

I'm [Y/N Thompson] in the place to be!
Uh two pints of Sam Adams but I'm working on three~

HA!

Those redcoats don't want it with me,
'Cause I will pop!
Chick-a-pop!
These cops 'till I'm free!

Et oui oui, mon ami,
Je m'appelle [Harvfest]!
The Lancelot of the revolutionary set!

I came from afar,
Just to say 'bonsoir'
Tell the King
'Casse-toi'

Who's the best?
C'est moi

Brraah, brraah,
I am [Edward Gold]!
Up in it, lovin' it,
Yes I heard your mother say 'come again?'

Eyyyy

Lock up your daughters and horses,
Of course, it's hard to intercourse,
Over four sets of corsets!

Wow.

No more sex, pour me another brew son!
Let's raise a couple more,

To the revolution!

Well if it ain't the prodigy of Princeton college?

Thomas Thompson,

Give us a BURR-se, drop some knowledge!

Good luck with that you're takin' a stand,
You spit; I'ma sit,
We'll see where we land.

But the revolution's imminent, what do you stall for?

If you stand for nothin' Burr, what'll you fall for?

Oh, who are you?

Who are you?

Who are you?

Who, who is this kid? What's he gonna do?

And that is how you and Tord hooked up.