Finding Beauty

[21] - Chapter Twenty-One

“Yes I did,” I replied to her sadly. “Are you happy now?”

“You must feel so upset because I mean, he made you feel beautiful. Now, your confidence is gone and we’re back to where we started,” My insecurity ghost told me with a chuckle. “You should give up.”

“No,” I stated firmly.

“No? Why not? Kale doesn’t like you; he probably thinks you’re ugly and disgusting.” 

The tears streamed down my face and I turned away from her on the verge of sobbing.

“Aw,” She continued, “you’re sad—

“McKenzie?” A different voice suddenly got my attention. Turning around, I wiped my tears and saw Stefanie who glanced at with a worried expression. “It’s okay, I’ll make the popcorn.” Stefanie walked up to me and tossed me another hug which didn’t make me feel better this time.

“Um, I think I’m going to lie down,” I told her sadly and without another word, I walked down the hallway, towards my bedroom, plopped on my bed, and sobbed. I can’t believe this, was I just a cover up for Kale’s illicit secret? Did he really think I was beautiful?

I pushed my thoughts away and didn’t even bother to wipe my face. Stefanie came in a minute later carrying a big bowl of buttery popcorn. She put the bowl down carefully in front of me and also placed a box of Nerds too. I haven’t eaten nerds since Stef left and now that she was with me, it felt special.

I knew I was still depressed about Kale cheating on me and even more depressed from what my insecurities just pointed out, but at least I had my best friend. After she pressed play and plopped in my bed beside me, I smiled at her and she smiled back. I wasn’t completely alone.

During the movie, we didn’t speak and we just quietly watched which was strangely comforting. Sure, they were some laughs here and there because of Olaf and the Duke, but other than that, we quietly watched as we ate candy and popcorn. And by the time the movie ended, Stefanie was fast asleep on my bed and I had finished the food.

Sighing, I ran my fingers through my hair and got up. Walking over to the DVD player, I took out the movie and placed it back into the case. I wanted to just sleep beside my best friend, but my body refused.

So, I walked out of my room and walked towards the kitchen as the sudden depression feel within my body. Plopping at the dinner table, I laid my head on the table and sobbed. I was shocked that the tears weren’t running out, they were just coming down like a continuous waterfall. As I sobbed, I thought about calling Dean, but I couldn’t bring myself to it.

As I cried, I thought about Kale and all of the times we spent together. Did it mean anything to him at all? I found myself asking the same questions over and over again: Did his friends know? Was I getting played?

“McKenzie?” A voice suddenly asked tiredly. “What on earth are you doing?” It didn’t belong to Stefanie, it was my mother. Lifting up my head, my mother saw my face full of drenched tears and she did next was shocking.

My mother didn’t give me excuse that I was crying or disturbing her work, instead she walked over and plopped into a seat next to me. Running her fingers through my hair she asked, “Honey, why are you crying? What happened?”

“Aren’t I disturbing your work or something?” I snapped as I brushed my hair on my shoulder and wiped my damped face.

My mom’s face saddened. “McKenzie, there’s something I have to tell you.”

“What?”

“I….I got laid. It was months ago, about winter of last year and when I did, I dived myself right into a search looking for new jobs,” My mom explained with a sigh as she ran her fingers through her dark hair. “I finally got a job interview and they hired me. The problem is that they require so much work to be done. Your Dad also got laid as well; he had taken several jobs just to pay the bills. Unfortunately, something happened…”