A Modest Proposal (Kim Namjoon/ BTS) (#SerendipityAwards)

18. Pied Piper

Namjoon didn’t mind distressing over their upcoming trip to the US and performance on the AMA’s. No, he didn’t mind it in the least because it allowed him to ignore the other pressing matter which threatened to suffocate him.

Hong Ji Ah.

So the rapper dived into album promotions, music bank performances, interviews on radio stations and reality shows, so exhausted that by the time the members returned to the dorm, his feet twitched with fatigue and sleep, however little, offered some semblance of respite. The week following his doomed proposal had been the hardest to tackle but Namjoon discovered that work was a good distraction and it kept his mind off the woman who had somehow managed to crawl under his skin. Again. But he tried his best to desensitize himself, to derail his thoughts and steer them away from the contentious matter. And, to an extent, it worked.

Namjoon learned this when he came face to face with Ji Ah after a whole week. She looked stricken to see him and he dredged up every last bit of his strength to smile at her. And from the surprised look on the woman’s face, he knew he had succeeded in displaying a strong front.

If only Ji Ah could see the crumbling mess within him.

But Bang PD’s announcement jolted him out of his wallowing, allowing him to focus on his duties as the leader of a group which was breaking its own records and climbing up the music charts, taking everyone by storm. There was an influx of reporters, news channels, entertainment personnel, domestic and overseas, who wanted to interview the boy band. And Namjoon began to realize that Ji Ah might have had a point about this being the busiest he had ever been.

Their latest project was a comeback show that MNet had planned for BTS, one that would focus on the ties between the members and also portray their hopes and apprehensions. For this, their dorm had been turned into a makeshift set with the camera crew interviewing them one by one.  The next few days went by in a blur of shoots, performances, endless preening and parading at concerts which left Bangtan drained and tired. But the rapper didn’t mind it because these matters were substantial and something he could count on remaining constant. Unlike his spiraling emotions.

Namjoon prided himself over concealing his turbulent thoughts but he couldn’t fool his members, especially Jimin. The blonde man had been watching his Hyung carefully ever since he had returned from wherever he had taken off to after the press conference on the day of the album release. He knew that the rapper was troubled and their debut in the States wasn’t the only reason.

“Hyung, it’s almost 12 AM,” he mumbled, raking his fingers through his mussed hair and taking a seat opposite the leader at their dining table. It had been a long day, one which had ended with the shooting of the concluding segment of their comeback show. The members’ faces had been rife with weariness and Yoongi had almost fallen asleep on his feet, inducing Seokjin to carry him to their shared bedroom.

“Jimin-ah? Why aren’t you asleep yet?” Namjoon looked across the table in surprise. He had thought that he was the only one having trouble sleeping but that obviously didn’t seem to be the case.

Jimin smiled at him, leaning forward and propping his chin on his palm. “I was, until my stomach decided to rumble.” He patted it and reached out towards the bowl laden with fruit on the table, plucking a banana lose. The blonde man proceeded to munch on it with relish and Namjoon chuckled softly, trying his best to appear laidback and calm. But Jimin could see right through him.

“You’re worried about the AMA’s.”

It wasn’t so much a question as an observation and Namjoon glanced at the younger man warily, amazed at how easily he had read him. But he shrugged, slouching in his seat and shoving his hands deep into the pockets of his hoodie. “I am. I’m so nervous that I can’t even sleep despite being dead on my feet,” he replied truthfully, not wanting to deceive the man seated across from him.