Ø Money cant buy me happiness, but id much rather cry in a mansion.
Ø Love is like a fart. If you have to force it, it is probably poop.
Ø I am sure that in alcohol are female hormones. When I drink I talk too much and I don’t know how to drive.
Ø Sometimes I look at you and I’m sad cause you’re not a dragon.
Ø That moment when you walk into a spider web and suddenly turn into a karate master.
Ø It’s a status, not your diary.
Ø If she has 500 likes and 400 comments in a photo, what’s missing? Her clothes.
Ø Love is like a bar of soap; once you think you have it, it slips away.
Ø My life is just a bunch of, “it seemed like a good idea at the time” strung together.
Ø Fool people into thinking you have a social life by going offline for a few hours.
Ø I didn’t make it to the gym today. That makes it 5 years in a row.
Ø I did not hit you I simply high fived your face.
Ø Don’t think too much. You’ll end up creating a problem that want even there in the first place.
Ø Let’s have a deep conversation online (or through texts) tonight, and then act like it never happened tomorrow when we see each other in “real life.”
Ø If you tickle me I’m not responsible for your injuries. (Personal fav)
Ø The best place to break up with your girlfriend is in a bounce house. Everything’s padded, there are no sharp objects allowed, and no one can be sad in a bounce house.
Ø We’ll be beast friends forever because you already know too much.
Ø Checking your phone to see what time it is and then checking it again because the first time you weren’t paying attention.
Ø I AM A BOMB TECHNITIAN IF YOU SEE ME RUNNING TRY TO KEEP UP
Ø The worst thing about this generation of kids today is not that they watch twilight or that they listen to Justin beiber. It’s that they don’t play outside anymore, so it’s really hard to hit them with my car on the way to work.
Ø The greatest pleasure in life is doing what people say you cannot do.
Ø I use sarcasm instead of punching you in the face. Don’t push it, though. (Another fav)
Ø Bad spellers of the world, untie!
Ø Teenager post #5176 finds out crush isn’t here today ‘darn it wasted outfit’
Ø Trying not to fall asleep because you’re expecting a text from someone.
Ø Good girls are just bad girls that don’t get caught
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Funny Sayings
Randomthe title says it all, these are in fact funny sayings that I've heard and decided to write down. I hope you enjoy, and I really hope I can bring a smile to your face.
