Ø Life isn’t about how you survive the storm. It’s about learning to dance in the rain.
Ø Cry me a river build a bridge and get over it.
Ø Fear of a name only increases Fear within itself.
Ø Old people started poking me at weddings, saying, “Your next.” So I started doing the same thing at funerals.
Ø Everybody dies but not everyone lives.
Ø You smile. I smile. You cry. I cry. You laugh. I laugh. You hurt. I hurt. You jump off a bridge; I’m going to miss your texts.
Ø You only live once, but if you work it right, once is enough.
Ø Life is like a hot bath. It feels good while you’re in it, but the longer you stay in the more wrinkled you get.
Ø God, if I can’t have what I want, let me want what I have.
Ø And in the end, its not the years in your life that count. It’s the life in your years.
Ø The tragedy of life is not that it ends so soon, but that we wait so long to begin it.
Ø The purpose of life is to have a life of purpose.
Ø A life without cause is a life without effect.
Ø Life resembles a novel more often the novels resemble life.
Ø Life is just a mirror, and what you see out there, you must see inside of you.
Ø Failure is only a temporary change in direction to set straight for you success.
Ø Vilionce is never the answer, it’s the question, and the answers yes.
Ø A good friend will come bail you out of jail…
A true friend will be sitting next to you saying, “Man we messed up.”
Ø 3 out of 2 people have trouble with fractions
Ø Smile, it will either warm their heart or piss them off… either way you win!
Ø If I had a dollar for every smart thing you’ve said I’d be poor.
Ø Do you wanna make money on Facebook? It’s easy. Just go to your setting, Deactivate your account, and GO TO WORK!
Ø Everything happens for a reason. Except for the things messed up by yourself.
Ø I wanted to rebel… but my parents wouldn’t let me.
Ø I’m not random, you just can’t think as fast as me.
Ø Hot day + cold drink = no worries
Ø I wish I were a little child again, because bruised knees heal faster, and hurt less then a broken heart.
Ø If you usually don’t succeed on the first try then skydiving is not for you.
Ø Dear girls,
If a guy pauses his video game just to text you back,
Marry him
Ø Tell a girl she’s BEAUTIFUL she’ll believe it for a moment, tell a girl she’s UGLY she’ll believe it for a lifetime.
I asked my friend if he had heard this saying before, after I finished saying the saying he looked at me and smiles, and simply responded, “Tell a girl she beautiful she’ll never believe it, tell a girl she’s ugly prepare to get slapped.”
Ø If I got a penny for every time I think about you I would have
ONE PENNY
You never leave my mind
Ø I’m going to take a hot shower; it’s like a normal one but with me in it.
Ø Random + crazy = me
Me + sugar = disaster
Disaster + me = something explosive
Me + all of these things = world ending
So all together ADVOID ME AT ALL COSTS have a nice day
Ø Dear math, I’m not your therapist solve your own problems.
Ø Unless your name is ‘Google” stop acting like you know EVERYTHING
Ø I’m in shape, round is a shape.
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Funny Sayings
Randomthe title says it all, these are in fact funny sayings that I've heard and decided to write down. I hope you enjoy, and I really hope I can bring a smile to your face.