It was a pretty eventful year. For me, the people around me, everyone really. I questioned my sexuality, I changed what people call me, from My original name, to Ceil. I asked to flatten my chest, which with my asshole mom, she didn't do it. I made friends who aren't the people you'd want your parents to be friends with, but I like them. The most trying thing that happened is my grandpa's party. It declined my mental health way down. We went to this Italian restaurant, and it was the first time my mom physically forced me to socialize. Did I listen? No, I'm a little shit, so of course not. Then she took my phone. I had nothing else to do so I talked to myself out of sheer boredom. My mom got pissed, yet me being a shit, I continued. Then I slipped the word "fuck". And, Ash, you fucking idiot, your satanic, demon mother heard it. She dragged me home, screaming at me. That's when I lost it. I ran in the house, she left to go back. I got out my suicide note, threw everything out the medicine cabinet looking for pills, I then got a notitfrom YouTube. That's when my world crashed. I realized I didn't make it to VidCon, to tell these guys what I had to say, this was before the Sleeping With Sirens concert, so if I did that, I wouldn't have told Kellin he saved me. So I plan to kick 2018 in the ass, because I'm surprised I survived 2017. I keep asking myself "Ash, how the fuck did you survive this year?" And I don't know how or why I did. And I may never know. But all I know is that I have goals. To meet the bands that saved my life, and meet the YouTubers that saved my life. And I'll see you guys in 2018.
Arren out, for the last time in 2018.
