Destiel Oneshots

Where there's tears, there's hope

A/N: I wrote this oneshot last night at around 1:30 am, so I apologize for any inaccuracies towards the story line of s8, there most likely are some.

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The first times Naomi commanded Cas to kill Dean, or rather an illusion of Dean, Cas refused. He knew, it was just an illusion, an imagination, maybe even stolen from his own memories to make it look so real. But Cas couldn't kill Dean. Not the man he had saved from hell. Not the man he had given up his old home, heaven, for. Not the man he had given up everything for. No. He would never hurt Dean, let alone kill him.

Naomi wanted to 'fix' him, make him a proper angel again. But like she said, even in the past she had to wipe his memory and brainwash him too damn often. He was such an humanly angel, the most human of them all. He was a lone soldier, the only one that had actually fulfilled god's task for them: he loved humanity.

Too much heart was always his problem. Or his purpose? Was it even possible to 100% fix him in angel standards? Naomi shook her head and watched Castiel. She would fix him. He was a soldier of heaven, and to heaven he belonged. He was ought to properly follow heaven's orders. And to that Naomi would bring him back.

The imaginations of Dean began to harm and bully Cas, first with words, then with fists and feet. Cas tried to ignore them as much as he could. He didn't respond, as much as these wounds might hurt. As much as these words cut deep into his being, he wouldn't hurt Dean.

Eventually, after Dean almost tortured him, Cas broke. He broke and brought his angel blade towards Dean's chest. The angel hesitated. Dean grinned. "What? You can't even do as little as killing me? You're pathetic, you know that? Worthless" Dean spat out. It was like a demon talking to Cas. Naomi looked up from her paper work towards Castiel, who maybe finally showed some evidence of being cured.

Cas looked into fake-Dean's eyes. The green, somehow not as lovely and marvelous as the colour of Dean's eyes back on earth. Dean, who was worried about Cas. Who wanted to know where he was. Although Naomi shielded him from prayers, sometimes a particularly strong one made it through her barrier in his mind and Cas heard them. Dean's prayers have always been especially loud for the angel and now it paid off. He heard Dean's voice, worrying about him, asking where he was, if he was alright. Dean, who sometimes got a bit rough and angry but nonetheless cared about him, loved him. It was an anchor to which Cas held onto. He wouldn't hurt Dean. Even if it just was an imagination. Their more profound bond saved him for now.

Naomi sighed and looked back down on the paper she had to sign. Fixing Castiel took longer than she thought.

Weeks passed, and Castiel still hadn't hurt Dean. He was dangerously close now and then. Naomi cut him off from his feelings, had her own technique to bury them so deep down into Cas that he himself couldn't reach them. When she poked around in Cas's head, she always looked out for those feelings, for tender and loving thoughts towards the Winchesters. These she picked out and buried them. She sealed their grave so that Cas couldn't reach them. They were lost for Cas. Naomi stole memories from Cas, from moments in which Sam and Dean were kind to him, showed how much they cared. She changed Cas's image of Dean into a travesty of what it once was.

The angel got emotionally colder and colder with every day he was in Naomi's care. And then, one day, he did the unimaginable: When fake-dean shouted at him, called him names and other things, Cas lashed out and hurt him. He didn't kill him, but he cut him alongside his left arm. Naomi smiled. "We're doing well, Castiel" the angel just stared at where Dean was lying in front of him, blood flowing from the nasty gash in his arm. "Now kill him!" Naomi commanded.

Cas remained still, silent and unmoving like a stone, as if he was turned into ice. Dean was talking to him. The hunter's prayers has reached him just in time. "Cas, where are you, man? We haven't heard from you in weeks. I know you're out there. I-i need you, buddy. Come back" it may have just been a short prayer, but it saved Cas's day. It saved him from killing this illusion of Dean that was lying in front of him on the ground, bleeding.

It is difficult to say how much time passed until Cas fully broke and brought the blade through Dean's heart. "No" he whispered as Dean slid to the ground, lifeless. "No" His eyes were wide opened, he was shocked by what he had just done. Naomi applauded him. "Good, Castiel. Very good"

Cas kneeled down next to the imagination of Dean. He knew, it wasn't real, but it goddamn felt real. It felt like he had just killed his best friend, the love of his life even. And although Cas was partly numb and his feelings have been stolen from him, he still felt devastated. A single tear fought its way out of Cas's eye and rolled down his cheek. Cas caught the tear with his finger and mustered it. In this rare liquid, an angel tear, he found hope. Hope that he still could fight what Naomi did to him. Another tear slit down his face. Even though he just broke, Cas smiled about his newfound hope. Where there's tears, there's hope.